Book: About freedom and inner strength of a man

to suffer as little as possible is the way to choose happiness - for this you need to take responsibility for yourself.

We are hungry. We crave approval, attention, affection. We long for the freedom to accept life, to know ourselves and to be ourselves.

Time doesn't heal. We manage ourselves, over time. Recovery will come when we choose to take responsibility, when we take risks, and when we finally allow ourselves to let go of the pain of the heart, that is, let go of grief and let go of the past. And all this is a matter of our choice.

It becomes clear to me that the past does not defile the present, and the present does not belittle the past. Time is Wednesday. This is a mediator. Time is let, which we go through.

Perhaps our childhood is a compass that helps us determine our location in life: are we important to our loved ones or not. Perhaps our childhood is a map on which we study the size and limits of our significance.

We can choose what horror teaches us. Become embittered with grief and fear. Hostile. Numb. Or to hold on to something childish in us, alive and inquisitive, to that part of us that is innocent. We have a choice: pay attention to what we have lost or what we have.

We are broken under the weight of loss and think that we will never find ourselves, no purpose in life, that we will never recover. But, despite the difficulties and tragedies in our life - and in fact, thanks to difficulties and tragedies - each of us has the opportunity to look at the situation from such an angle that we will immediately turn from a victim into a winner. It is our choice to take responsibility for all difficulties and healing. It is our choice to be free.

There is a popular belief that if something worries you or causes anxiety, then you just do not need to pay attention. Don't get hung up. Don't touch on this topic. In this way, we avoid thinking and talking about old traumas and adversities and bypass today's inconveniences and conflicts. When we drive our truth and our stories underground, secrecy becomes both our trauma and our prison. This does not diminish the pain.

Heroism is inherent in each of us and is just waiting in the wings. We are all trainee heroes. Life itself becomes our practice territory; we practice heroic habits in everyday situations: we do everyday good deeds; show mercy, not forgetting about self-compassion; bring out the best in ourselves and others; do not let the feeling fade away even in the most difficult relationships; we exalt and strengthen our inner freedom.

I'm afraid bad things happen to everyone. We cannot change this. Look at your birth certificate - does it say that life will be easy ?. No. But many of us get stuck in trauma and grief, unable to experience life in its entirety. And that can be changed.

If you ask me what is the most common diagnosis among people who turn to me, I can hardly name depression or post-traumatic stress disorder, although these conditions were most often encountered in those whom I knew, loved and directed towards freedom. No, I will say that it is hunger. We're hungry. We crave approval, attention, affection.

You cannot cure what you do not feel.

In mourning not only for what took place, we grieve for what did not happen.

But over time, I realized that I was able to choose how to react to the past. I can feel miserable and hopeful, I can feel depressed and happy. We always have such a choice, there is a possibility of control.