Book: You took my innocence and freedom, but I was always stronger than you

They say that you can only go to hell once. If that's true, then I shouldn't be afraid of him after death. I've already lived through hell on earth. I spent four years in the underground prison of Viktor Mokhov, not knowing whether I would live or die.

- Women. Having imprisoned us in the basement, he felt himself master of the situation, but still he continued to be afraid. To defend himself, he tried his best not to see us as human. We were only sexual objects for him. Some men buy inflatable dolls, and Viktor had Lena and me.

We all need compassion and love to heal. This is why it is better to be silent with loved ones than to speak with a professional who does not understand what happened.

- Communication with those who love me. But I was in a very difficult emotional state. Probably many of my actions made them worry.

Neither family nor friends can experience what it is like to be an animal in a cage. No one understands what it feels like to be the victim of an insane rapist for years. Nobody experienced what I experienced in Victor's basement. And so I decided that I had to bear my pain alone.

From the moment I arrived in Russia, I have not seen a single smiling person.

A true fighter has emotional flexibility, tremendous openness, and tremendous inner freedom. In addition, he rarely considers himself a victim. A true fighter understands that he must use everything that pain has taught him for the benefit of others.

Like most men, he dreamed of being admired by women. He wanted to take care of them, earn their respect and love. He got exactly the opposite. He kept two girls in prison who feared and hated him. A torturer who wishes to maintain control over his captives cannot establish emotional contact with them, otherwise control will fall into the hands of the victims. I am sure that for Victor, subordination was a huge problem. How to keep two prisoners, forcing them to have sex, and not feel an emotional connection? He owned these girls completely and completely. I am sure that the problem of establishing spiritual contact was the reason for his fall. Gradually Mokhov became more and more lonely and unhappy. In the end, he lost touch with reality, falling into complete insanity.

<…> The dream of owning women and using them to avoid loneliness and get sexual release is quite widespread among men. Many of them have ever dreamed of a harem, whose inhabitants would satisfy any of their whims. Men are often able to separate sexual needs from emotional life.