impotence [Theme]

Live not as you want, but as God commands. And you see your powerlessness so well in all this, self-reproach arises so easily, and humility follows closely behind it. And the only hope remains in the Grace of God. And this is exactly what is needed.

That Europe no longer exists and will never exist. Beautiful, old with the wonderful smell of coffee from a bar in the morning in Rome. There will be no more American cinema of the 70s with Jack Nicholson: Five

It was a chilling, aching, sucking pain of the heart, a joyless emptiness in thoughts, the complete powerlessness of the imagination to adjust the soul to a more sublime way...

Screams and curses only prove powerlessness.

Hatred

That's what Russia wants!

You promised to do your best. How is this to be understood now? You have no strength left?!

The sign of these people is a complete impotence to contain their desires; on the contrary, an irresistible desire to immediately discover them, with all even untidiness, as soon as they are born.

The simplest problems can be solved with your own hands. But what I can do for others - all this is so insignificant. Why does this hurt so much?

Fear is like a figure who practices domestic violence. She cannot do anything about her main problem and takes out her anger and powerlessness on someone who is much weaker.

Emotions "bitch" often strongly influence our behavior and actions. They are capricious, like little children, but you need to be friends with them - still our dear ones. They are usually not at fault. We simply do not know how to work with them, showing our powerlessness and weakness, or rather, we put ourselves in complete dependence on them and often rejoice in this, like children!

Disappointment. Disgust. Impotence. Anger. All these are my internal enemies. I have to keep them in check so they don't take over me.

I decided to return to Russia and there already figure out what to do next. The declaration of a cursed peace with the recognition of the impossibility of waging war - with the first reason in the form of democratic cowardice - caught me when I arrived in Japan. Then I went to the British ambassador Sir Green and asked him to tell the British government that I cannot recognize peace and ask me to be used for war, in any way and anywhere, even as a soldier at the front. That personally I have only one desire - to participate actively in the war and kill the Germans [Crossed out: I do not see any other activity anywhere.]. I received a reply from the English Government, transmitted by Sir Green, that the Government thanked me and asked me not to leave Japan until a later decision was made on my best use. […] And here I am for the 2nd month in Japan, where I ended up without thinking at all about the possibility of such a stay. […] I live in a hotel and am mostly alone. In Yokohama, the large Russian society is in most cases representatives of our bureaucracy, military and civil, who fled from the revolution. I do not know why, but I did not enter this society and do not want to enter. […] I do not like this society of people who have admitted their powerlessness in the struggle, who are unable and unwilling to fight, and does not evoke sympathy. It makes no difference to me at best.

The cripples live in the hut on the edge. There are no healthy people there.