TV show: Bo Burnham: Words, Words, Words

It seems to me that hip-hop has always been a kind of mouthpiece for the voiceless, you know? But now he has become, at least in the mainstream a symbol of misogyny, homophobia, financial irresponsibility...

I hope you enjoyed my show. Thank you for coming. And if you do not like... Let the earth you rest in peace kind and a pot of honey.

I know that sounds far-fetched, but then check yourself - it's true: the average person has one fallopian tube. The average penis length is 14 cm And finally, the average penis length of a person looking in Google "average penis length" - 9 cm.

In the childhood I dreamed to be a physicist, but at the same time wanted to be a comedian. The result came out to be the only one, but now I'll try to be both. Your attention is the "Theoretical joke about the dick." My dick was so small I barely find it, as it is strongly influenced by mechanical fluctuations in temporal and spatial matters. And during sex my partner only knows where is my penis and how fast has - because of its insignificant size, it acts the uncertainty principle of Heisenberg. My mind a creative mess, or rather creativity entropy.

I grew up in a good culture, just like in field corn. But I also grew up in a Christian culture, like children of the Corn.

So, my haiku.
The day of the death of my aunt
Ascended rainbow.
Gay ***s.
Ruble a day
Feed African.
They eat coins. [...]
In a glass house
Don't throw stones
And do not masturbate during the day. Good advice...

I spoke recently on the border of Hannah Montana and South Dakota fanning...

Mickey and Minnie mouse, Donald Duck duck, Daisy, goofy - they're all animals who can talk - why the hell then Pluto normal dog? Why? Its that stupidly forgot to humanize? Or worse, maybe mentally retarded Mickey keeps as a pet? I'm not laughing at this is wrong. How does it fit into the disney universe? Goofy is also a dog, walks, talks; this one lies on the ground.

We live in a binary reality. So. Everything is divided into black and white. On earth only two types of people: those who are able to complete the enumeration...

From distant countries adopted a child I want to save him from the hardships of child labour, and on the first day of birth gave him a designer. What irony!

A very emotional thing. I apologize in advance if suddenly I shall weep. Called "a Boy and his dog". "Get out of here, okay? Just go. I can't afford, you know? Can't afford it. Don't... don't do this breakup is even sadder, please. I hate you - you wanted to hear, right? I hate you. I hate you... I Hate you! And it's not just me... My dog also hates Mexicans."

Strippers-the men always look as if coated with lotion. Strippers and women, when dancing at the pole, look like a... crazy fire?

Men and women is black and white, and the hermaphrodite is gray.

Women fake orgasm and men love. Women are like fingers and toes - they can count on. Yeah, that's nice. Men are like ravens - they hate condoms. Women are like a Royal flush, they rarely come to me. Men are like Nazis - they are the cause of the Holocaust. It's true.