Ilya Стогoff. Macho don't cry (№ 111970)

- I will say, the Buddha, and you will listen!
Your eyes, Buddha? Why don't you look at us? Look, eh? Enough to sit in Nirvana! In Nirvana everybody can... but I'm not in Nirvana!.. hear?.. told me that you love me... you love?.. don't ask me if I love... I don't know... you're big and strong... and I... piss out... I don't know how to love... you understand?
They all say "be good"! If it is a start. As I understand it - is the finish. Which reaches one hundred. Or not? If I had a disabled son... the baby is fugly... I wouldn't punish him, and treated... would sit at his bedside... read books, taught to draw... and you?.. what the fuck are you doing in Nirvana, if I'm here?!. or do you not love me?.. and you said you love... all I want... all... always... all my heart... teach me, huh?
Every morning I Wake up... decide to live WELL... and then... whack!.. the whole mug... shit... how could I live if around the same shit?!. and you don't even want to open my eyes?!. huh?!
<...>
Can you hear me?! Get off! Be there! And if not, then kill me! Because I can't!..
I pressed his hands to his eyes and yelled louder.
- I'm asking you last time!.. Can you hear me?!. Don't be silent!..
And then the stone Buddha has widely opened heavy eyelids.
And then I heard the long-familiar eyes.