Terry Pratchett. To arms! To arms! (№ 160703)

Junior constable Bauxite! Junior constable Plumard! To delay acting-constable Detritus!
Two trolls looked after the receding of the Detritus, then at each other and then at the Sergeant Colon.
Bauxite finally managed to salute.
- Permission to leave for my grandmother's funeral, sir.
- Uh, like this?
- It's me or her.