Suzanne Kaysen. Girl, interrupted (№ 202466)

My ambition has always been denial. My whole world, filled or empty, provoked exclusively to denial. When I had to climb, I stayed in bed; when I should have said - was silent; when I was expecting some fun - I avoided him. My hunger, my thirst, my loneliness, my boredom and my fear was that Arsenal of weapons, to which I appealed against their worst enemy: the world. It is clear that my weapon had no meaning in the world, and me it was constantly tortured. But the suffering gave me a grim satisfaction. They proved that I exist.