Donna Of Tartt. Goldfinch (№ 270591)

Is it possible to miss someone as I miss mom? To me it lacked that I wanted to die, to me its acutely, physically not enough - like air under water. I lay awake and tried to remember her all the best, capture it in your brain, never to be forgotten, but instead of birthdays and other fun in mind all the memories pop up like a few days before death she stopped me in the doorway and took the lead with a school jacket. Somehow I remember it most clearly: the knitted brow, as she held out a hand, everybody. A couple of times when I was tossing and turning from sleep to wakefulness, I suddenly jumped up in bed from her voice in my head, phrases that she once said, but I did not remember, such as "Throw me an Apple," or "I Wonder if buttons should be in front or in back?" or "How shabby life this couch!".