Erich Maria Remarque. Shadows in Paradise (№ 429315)

Those who decided to stay precisely because they would soon be able to return began to torment some vague sense of loss. The prospect of staying in the States did not seem as bright as before, although, in essence, nothing changed. And those who intended to return and before whom Europe, the old homeland always loomed, suddenly felt that now this is not paradise at all, but a devastated land full of all sorts of problems. It was like a weather vane: it turned one side, then the other. The touching illusions that they all lived with burst. Both those who wanted to return and those who wanted to stay equally felt like deserters. This time they deserted themselves.