Terry Pratchett. To arms! To arms! (№ 160222)

Dobbins was a guard just a few days, but have already understood one important and basic fact: walk down the street without breaking a law - it is impossible. At the disposal of the guard, who decided to spend some citizen fascinating conversation, provided a whole bag of potential charges, ranging from Unintentional Ollacuria Pears and ending Unintentionally Insult somebody's Perverted Morality, Being the wrong Color/Shape/Species/Sex.