Thomas Ruggles Pynchon, Jr.. Shrieked out lot 49 (№ 292290)

... little Japanese binoculars, which was the parting gift of his wife (she left him the next day after he received notice of dismissal)... <...> He went out into the garage, poured into the canister all the gasoline from the fuel tank of your Buick, wearing a green three-piece suit from Zachary <...> went into the kitchen, sat on the floor and generously poured himself with gasoline. He made ready one last time to either spin the wheel faithful Zippo lighters <...>, but then the lock clicked the door, and he heard voices. It was his wife with a man, which he soon identified influential joydisaster expert on the scientific organization of labor, offer to replace the poor guy's computer is an IBM 7094. Intrigued by the irony of fate, the officer was sitting in the kitchen and listened, dropping his tie in the gasoline puddle like a wick. From the snatches of conversation he caught what the expert wants to make his wife love the Moroccan carpet in the living room. The wife was not against it. The officer heard lewd laughter, the sound zip, the sound of falling shoes, heavy sniffles and moans. He pulled the tie from gasoline and giggled. Closed the lid of the Zippo lighters. "I think I hear some laughter," said his wife. "And the gasoline smell" - said the expert. Holding hands, they headed naked to the kitchen. "I was thinking assumed from himself a Buddhist monk," he explained to them the dismissed official. "And it took you almost three weeks to decide on it? I was amazed the expert. You know how long it would have taken the IBM 7094? Twelve microseconds. No wonder you got replaced by a machine." The officer threw back his head and laughed a good ten minutes, during which his wife and her lover anxiously withdrew, got dressed and rushed to call the police. <...> ... he announced with great solemnity: "My biggest mistake was love. From this day on I vow not to succumb to any kind of love: neither hetero-nor Homo-, or bisexual, or love to animals, nor of love to the car - no. I'm the founder of the society of opponents of love and dedicate life."