Erich Fromm. The art of love (№ 418362)

Unconditional love makes up for one of the deepest angodils not only of the child, but of every human being; on the other hand, to be loved because of your own merits, because you yourself have earned love - this is always associated with doubts: what if I do not like the person from whom I want love? And what if it's - there's always a danger that love might disappear. Further, "deserved" love always leaves a bitter feeling that you are not loved by yourself, that you are loved only because you are pleasant, that you are ultimately not loved at all, but used.