Ilya Ilf and Evgeny Petrov. The twelve chairs (№ 94268)

The tram squealed on turns so naturally that it seemed as if screams do not train, and the conductor, a flat sorabotkata to the plate "Smoking and spitting prohibited". Smoking and spitting was forbidden, but to push the conductor into the belly, breathing into his ear and nagging him for no reason, obviously, is not forbidden. And these are all in a hurry. Was a critical hour. Terrestrial and extraterrestrial beings rushed into service.