Book: The meaning of the struggle

The nausea in the late evening - the inevitable phenomenon. Something like a pre-planned nightmare. Finally I cease to know and begin to think.
The emptiness inside is growing. Here it is. Complete detachment from reality. Like hanging in the middle of nowhere at a point equidistant from all that is happening around, under the influence of a magnetic field of tremendous power.
In this condition, when you cannot make contact with the outside world, the night can seem very long. So it seems.
Perhaps this is the guarantee of your safety, but you're not able to feel it. You will understand it later, when again out on the street, when once again the day will come when you will return to the world.
By nine o'clock he is already gaining momentum. The rotation of the world gracefully, it is accompanied by a slight hum. The world will drag you in the whirlwind, forced to hurry - so jump on the bandwagon started from the platform of the train.
But it is impossible to catch up. And again you're going to wait for nightfall, which, however, as usual, will bring with it the helplessness, uncertainty and fear.
And so it will continue day by day until the end of the world.