Character: Andy Kaufman

Hi. My name is Andy. And I would like to thank You that You came to my movie. It could be better, you know, but... it is so stupid. Terrible. Even I don't like. All the important events of my life... changed and mixed order... artistic conception. So... I decided to cut out all the crap. And now the film... it is much shorter. In fact, it's already the end. Thank You very much. I'm not kidding. Goodbye. Go... Wow. Are you still here? Okay! I hope You're not offended. I wanted to get rid of those who wouldn't understand me and didn't even try. In fact, the film is very cool. It is crammed with colorful characters, like I played in the past... or now.

- You don't know the real me...
- The real you does not exist.

- I want this show grew and grew. Make sure you have all the joy the world! I will build it brick by brick... And the audience won't be able to resist and my eyes turn into children! Will Santa Claus...
- Oh, Yes! And you ask him: "Hey, Santa! What gift have you brought me?" And he...
- Answer: "Cancer!"
- Uh, no, it's...
- No, this will not happen...

I want real gut reactions. I want them to react, I want the audience reached by ourselves. They love me, hate me, they leave... It's beautiful.