TV show: Benny Hill (The Benny Hill Show). Page 1

CAPITANO! You have enticing pictures of your wife naked?
- Of course not!
- Want to sell?

- Hey, captain, are You still engaged to Lola?
No.
- So you got rid of that stupid cow?
- No, I married her.

- Goodnight, mother of six!
- Goodnight, father of one!

- Hey, kid! And here is our delicious ziplinsky supik! Well, for daddy.
- Ugh, garbage. Pig swill! The soup is called.
He began to speak. Steve, he talks! Talking, talking!
- Great importance!
- Why speak only now? Why silent all these years?
- Before the soup was decent. I grovel?!

- Telma, go see the guy in the front, you in the twenty-seventh house, gushing champagne in bed, the nerve! To it still and the bird came. Oh, what a chubby. God bless you, bird! Yes, this is the fillet on the pound doesn't buy it. Good! Takes off his coat, and under it - only combination. That's rich! Oh, well, morals, Telma! Red kombinasi, like the one that I have given to you. Telma! Telma, come back! Go home!

- Here you come home and in my bed man. What will you do?
- Blind? Knock him on the head with his stick.

- Our anniversary.
- Uh, anniversary? Big deal.
Big. Remember your wedding night? You wanted that didn't give me time to remove the stockings.
Well, today you will manage to associate the two couples.

- What about your husband?
- Yes well it! He doesn't notice me. If you get into an accident, he can't even identify the body!

- How do you expect me to wear? Because people will come and take me by the cook.
- Let him eat something, then will not accept.

Xerocopies his life. If you lose her, you'll have at least a copy.

- Does it bother you that he chases women?
- You know, my dog running after cars. But even if you catch up, behind the wheel-he will not sit down!

- How do you know that cock fighting in Scotland came from the Irish?
- He comes with the duck.
- How you will learn Italian at the cockfight?
- He would bet on the duck.
- How do you know that the fighting was mafia?
- Win a duck.

As said the old chief: "shoot First and ask questions later..." the Truth, the answers you hardly wait.

- Honey, I've been to the doctor. He told me to undress and said that I have a great body.
And he didn't say anything about your horrible huge ass?!
- No, about you, he didn't say anything!