Elif Shafak. Eve's Three Daughters (№ 406424)

Serenity. Insensitivity. Sometimes Peri dreamed of them as a great gift. If only she could forget. If only I could not be in pain. She tried to shake off the past, but despite her best efforts, it stubbornly pursued her. (…) Consciousness of her guilt, shame and self-hatred, united, melted into a kind of dense substance, which lay with a heavy burden on her soul.