Book: Goldfinch. Page 1

Cost remember - and every time I flinched as another slap in the face: she died. Every new event, every my action for the rest of your life will be more and more to divide us: the days in which it will no longer - ever-growing distance between us. With my every new day she will be with me farther and farther away.

Maybe I really did well, I don't know. I'm certainly not crying Beluga, not punched his fists glasses did not, in General, anything that I thought can be done when you feel what I felt. But sometimes unexpectedly grief came in waves, so I started to choke, and when rolled back, I found that looking at the salted pieces of the wreckage, filled with so bright, so tearing the soul empty and light that it is difficult to believe that the world once was not dead.

The light of bygone days varies greatly with the light of present days, and yet in this house every corner reminds me of the past. But when I think of you, it looks like you went on the ship in the sea - sailed to foreign brightness where there are no roads, and there are only stars and sky.

Things would have been much better, stay it alive. But it just so happened that she died when I was a teenager, and although that happened to me after that, it was only me, still, after losing her I lost every landmark that might lead me to some happier, more crowded, more normal life.
Her death was the dividing line: Before and After. After so many years, of course, that doesn't sound quite gloomy, but as it is, I no longer loved.

In her community all came to life, she radiated magical theatrical light, so look at the world through her eyes meant to see it much brighter than usual.

So here everything goes to hell in one second.

Very magic picture, her liveliness was like a strange, aerial point, when hitting the snow in front of the cameras whirled snowflakes and green light, and care has become a game, who will win, who will lose, she just wanted to revel in these silent, flying in the wind minutes. I looked at the picture and felt the same convergence only at a single point: trembling, pierced the sun a moment that existed in eternity and now. And only occasionally did I notice the chain at the goldfinch on the leg or thought about, how cruel life had treated with a little living creature - it will fly up briefly and fatefully land in the same hopeless place.

Boris is drunk, sometimes has seriesnew, succumbed to Russian love problem topics and eternal questions and was now sitting on the marble countertop, swinging nazarenas fork sausage and a few feverish talked about poverty, capitalism, global warming and how the ass is this world coming to.

Listen, she said, - I don't think you understand, but it is very hard to love someone that love should not be.

I knew that something irreparable happened, and at the same time it seemed to me that there must be some way back under the rain and change everything.

Not always given a chance to fix everything. Sometimes only remains to try to not get caught.