Author of quotes: Alexey Shcherbakov

Childhood ends when you want it. When you abandon childhood, will say: "All my childhood, good-bye! You left. I'm an adult now" - then it's gone. And so it's not going anywhere. It is still with you. Childhood - it is in us.

If someone thinks that a graduation in kindergarten is something fun, kids event, then hell no! There's the whole graduation is based on the fact that the childhood is over, you're grown-UPS, be damned!

When I appeared in the "Stand Up", in his first monologues I talked about the fact that I work at subway, I have no money, I'm greedy. But now I Ruslan White says: "Leh, not enough, you four years in telly, no one will believe that you're cheap, don't need to tell me what you mean". So I'm not stingy! I never said I was stingy. The miser - he is what? Pays twice. And I do not cry. What are you talking about Ruslan? Are you even listening?

The Concierge, who are you? What kind of phenomenon? <...> Where are you from? I didn't even see any ads! This kind of self-proclaimed profession. They just gathered once: we sit in the hallways! Solved! I think the first grandmother came from? Grandma went down, I forgot why the heck is that not enough, here comes a man, then "where?" And then kirpichiki put yourself komarock and just sits there. Like an owl! She's in the cage as the snake looks at you. I even come sometimes son, raise him, saying: "Look, here it is! I want it moved! Well, click on the washed!"

I recently, unfortunately, realized that the old. Very much beginning to fall vision. <...> In fact I was prescribed glasses, but not the type of life, but only behind the wheel. Driving need glasses and don't need. And I think: if I need glasses only for driving, a windshield -4 change? And not bespectacled, and well-seen and is not stealing because no one!

My wife wants a stroller for a child over forty-four thousand rubles. In General "Nine", right? We were in the store wheelchairs. And there stood the carriages for forty-four, which she liked, and exactly the same for seventeen thousand. "Just not the same!" One to one. I approach the seller and say, "Look, there you have two strollers. One forty four, the second in seventeen - what they have difference but... anything?" He said, "Well, for forty-four it is manageable and maneuverable".
The maneuvers? Someone from the chase left in a wheelchair or something? I'm with your son on the ring road going out! 100-200 on it all... Agile! "Better handling". Someone could not cope with the management? Ever seen a mother in a ditch? The one that stripped all said, "we had to take a forty-four... the Handling sucks!"

Of how much barbershop has now opened! Who is it? We, the naturals, it is not necessary, you know? I have to get a haircut, have a mother. Your fired you, and here you go. <...> And there is such a service - styling a mustache. You went with a mustache, but it turned out Jacques Clouseau. Did you see that mustache with curls? Chafer flies and asked "Where?"

I do believe that homosexual lately too emboldened. On the other hand, it is also necessary to have the courage to be homosexual in Russia. You know you're not welcome here, you are love, you are not respected here, but you're still all riding on gyrometer. In rolled up pants, small short socks their this here, bitch, a steamer of some kind. What is it? <...> I googled and found out that this VAP. "I paper, I waply!" You're the fag smoke, put out the fag is what you are! Chemical plant!

What's going on? Why boys go to the rolled pants? Winter and summer - they do not care. Okay in the summer, the summer of no risk, high - guy to find himself. And in winter, too. And you see, he is cold, he's wearing a hat. The cold is felt, although no shame. His hat, his scarf, his coat is huge, these smelly breeches tucked a small piece of the skin blue and that's all. And went to meet with prostatitis, he went for a walk.