Character: Kirk Lazarus

I grow the lead, motherfucker!

You don't know? Hopeless morons can not play.
- In terms of?
Okay. Dustin Hoffman, "Rain Man". Looks retarded, but not retarded. Cheats at cards. Autistic, duh. Not a jerk. Tom Hanks, "Forrest Gump." Slow, Yes, retarded, but Nixon was also charmed by the tournament in ping-pong win. So not retarded. Peter sellers, the Gardener, infantile, Yes. Backward, no. And you went full retard, man. Never go full retard. Think drive? Ask Sean Penn, the film "I am Sam". Played final backward, left without an Oscar.

I'm in the way, yet not show all the additional material for the DVD.

I'm a dude playing a dude disguised as another dude!

I don't read the script, this script reads me!