Alexander Vasilyevich Kolchak. (№ 439318)

Never have I felt so alone, left to my own devices, as in those hours when I realized that I had no real power behind me, except for a completely conventional personal influence on individuals and masses; and the latter, seized with revolutionary ecstasy, were in a state of some kind of hysteria with an instinctive desire for destruction, which is laid in the foundation of the spiritual essence of every person. Once again, I was convinced how easy it is to master a hysterical crowd, how cheap their enthusiasm is, how pitiful the laurels of its leaders, and I did not betray myself and did not follow them. I am not made to be a demagogue - although I could easily become one - I am a soldier accustomed to receiving and giving orders without a hint of politics, and this is possible only in relation to an organized and mechanical mass. For ten days I have been engaged in politics and I feel a deep disgust for it, for my politics is the command of the power that can command me. But it was not there these days, and I had to engage in politics and manage a disorganized hysterical crowd in order to bring it back to normal and suppress the instincts and desire for primitive anarchy.