Mikhail Yuryevich Lermontov. (№ 462247)

The stupid state of a person is when he is forced to occupy himself in order to live, as the courtiers of old kings once did; be your own jester!... how not to despise yourself after that; not to lose the trust that I had in my soul... I’ll tell you one good thing: I finally realized that I was not fit for society, and now more than ever; Yesterday I was in one house NN, where, after sitting for 4 hours, I did not say a single worthwhile word; - I don’t have the key to their minds - perhaps, thank God!