Book: The girl on the train

There are days when I feel so bad that I need to drink; there are days when I feel so bad that I can't drink.

I close my eyes, and the darkness spreading until it develops out of feelings of sadness into something worse.

It appears from the noticeable as on the inside I have everything burned. This is evident on my face because of how I hold myself, how to move.

They're what I lost, they are everything I want to be.

If a person has a child, it is his weak spot, forcing to act with caution.

... the shame I experience is determined not only by the gravity of the situation, but the number of people who have become its witnesses.

You're as useless puppy that's picking on life. It beat and beat, and it's still obsequious crawling, wagging its tail. Crouch. Hopes that this time things will be different, that this time she will do the right thing and will love her.

I liked my job, but about a "brilliant career" it was not, and even if I did, then let's be honest: women are still valued only beauty and ability to give birth. I'm not beautiful and can't have children, then what is the point of me? No.

At school one teacher told me that I have a talent for reinvention yourself. Don't know what you had in mind, can we just fished, but with time this thought I began to like it more and more. Runaway mistress, the wife, the waitress, the Manager of the galleries, the nanny and a few intermediate images. So what I want to be tomorrow?

Sometimes I try to remember when was the last time I was genuinely embraced or involving shook my hand, and my heart shrinks.

I lost control over everything, even over what's going on in my head.

I know what you mean by emptiness. I'm starting to think that it cannot be filled in principle. My psychotherapy sessions have taught me one thing: these gaps in my life forever. You need to learn how to grow, enveloping them, like plants, wrapped around the stems of the concrete structure. These gaps form the human personality. Now, I know, but not say it aloud, at least right now.

I need to find what I should be doing something important. I can't be just a wife. I don't understand how anyone is able to do nothing but sit and wait. To wait for husband back to love you. Either that or you need to find what will fill your life with meaning.

Nothing can compare with the agony of ignorance, which will never come to an end.