Book: A man and a woman

One who would like to know the difference between a man and a woman should not think and ponder, is he a typical man or a typical woman, rather, you need to allow yourself to lead a full life. Only the one who does not occupy himself with the question: "And whether I play a role and achieved if I succeed?" is the knows the profound productivity difference between genders inherent in each individual person.

In America, women have achieved equality in all spheres. But this equality is not absolute, although it is still much greater than before. In addition, women still have to defend this conquest. They are full of zeal to prove that they are equal with men just because little than different from them, so men suppress the impulses of their tenderness. And as a result men lack of tenderness, and they, as if to compensate, there is a steady desire to be a constant object of admiration to affirm self-esteem. Thus, they are in a perpetual state of dependency and fear. Women, for their part, have been disappointed as they can not perform their role fully.

The concept of "tenderness" is multifaceted. It is love, respect, and understanding. Tenderness is something different from sexuality, hunger and thirst. From the point of view of psychology, such feelings, as sexuality, hunger and thirst, characterized by a self-managed dynamics; their intensity increases until, until it reaches the climactic moment of the satisfaction of desires, which then disappear for a while.
Tenderness is the other type of desires and impulses. Tenderness does not exist by itself, it has no purpose, no climactic moments and instant end. It finds its satisfaction in the action, the joy of being full of love, tender and gentle, to take seriously the other person, respect him and make a happy.
It seems to me that in our society there are few soft. At the mention of the word imagine only films about love. All passionate kisses censored, and yet the viewer must feel as well. The film shows about passion. For many it seems insufficiently compelling, but many are learning this, even "imaginary", love.
How often in the movie you can see a real tenderness in the relationship between partners or between parents and children Yes, in between people? Rarely.

I would like to highlight one difference regarding the degree of success in the relationship between a man and a woman having a certain value, which we must consider in our culture. It seems to me that women more than men, is able to be gentle.

If both sexes for millennia have been fighting with each other if they have any prejudices against each other, typical of the struggle of this kind, how today we can establish what are the true differences?
And only when we won't think about the differences when forget traditional clichés, we can develop a sense of equality where each partner is an end in itself. Only then will we be able to learn something about the differences between a man and a woman.

There is not any specific sexual relations that would be better than normal human relations between the partners. Sexual relations is often the shortest way to become closer to each other, but it is extremely deceptive. Of course, sexuality is an important side of human relationships, but in modern culture it is credited with so many different functions that I fear that all of us seeming sexual freedom, which many say ultimately not even close to true to sexuality.

There are many motivations of sexual desire non-sexual origin. Vanity is one of the most powerful agents of sexual desire, perhaps the strongest compared to the others, however, loneliness, and protest against the existing relations can also be a sexual impulse. The man who feels that he is full of strength and energy for sexual adventure and sexual appeal of women provokes it, is actually at the mercy of her vanity: he wants to prove his superiority over other men.

In fact, love is not easy. Sometimes it can be very easy to fall in love and to be loved until, until the other person, and you don't get bored. But love, so to speak, to "remain" (abide) in love pretty hard - although it does not require us to do anything supernatural, and in fact is the most important human quality.
If it is impossible to remain alone, if there is no interest to others and to yourself, you will not develop and a life with your partner without using some time to begin to miss you. If the relationship between the sexes lead to a tide of loneliness and isolation partners, these relationships have little to do with the opportunities that are in real relationships between a man and a woman.

The relationship between a man and a woman malespecific. If a man and a woman make a decision on choosing a partner based on marketing orientation and the predefined role-playing samples, it is inevitable that they will quickly get bored of each other. In my opinion, the word "boredom" does not pay enough attention. We're talking about different things, facing the people, but rarely talk about the worst of all, that I start to get bored, staying alone with yourself and, worse still, being among the same people.
Many see only two ways to overcome this boredom. Some avoid it, using any of the many possibilities offered by our culture. They go to parties, make new acquaintances, drink, play cards, listen to the radio and so from day to day lying to yourself. Others - and this partly depends on what social class they belong to - console myself with the fact that everything will change as soon as they change partner. They think that their marriage failed because they chose the wrong partner, and I think that, changing partner, will overcome the boredom.
They don't see what the main question is not: "do you Love me?" that has the same meaning as the question, "Recognize me?" - "Am I protected?" - "Do you admire me?", but the essence of the basic question is: "Can I even love?"

At all times and in every culture, there were certain ideals about how to be a man and a woman, but in earlier times, these views did not differ stability. However, in the culture where much depends on our compliance with the latest fashion, the real quality associated with our roles male or female, remain unsolved, receding into the background, because we behave as we expected.

Everything is matching certain patterns, and we diligently try to follow the latest fashion and act accordingly. For this reason, the roles that we choose for ourselves in different situations - and especially our roles as representatives of one of the sexes - is clearly predetermined, but these patterns of behavior are not similar to each other and not always correspond to each other. They often contradict each other. Man at work in a business setting need to be aggressive and gentle. He must live for his profession, but in the evening, coming home, he should not be tired. In relations with customers and in competition it needs to be presumptuous, but in relations with his wife and children, he must be absolutely sincere. It should be all love and, of course, a big part of myself to devote to the family.
Modern man is trying to meet all the aforementioned patterns of behavior, and only the fact that he is not really serious about them, saves him from madness. The same applies to women. They must also conform to certain role models, it is difficult to compare with each other, as in the case of men.

I believe that for the most part what lies behind the concept of "love" is the pursuit of success and recognition. Man needs someone else who would not only 4 hours a day, but in the 8, 10 and 12 said to him: "You're just excellent, you're right, you're doing it right." This is one point of view. Following another point of view, its own importance we can prove also the choice of a reliable partner. You need to be a supermodel, because only then you have the right and duty to fall in love with a supermodel.

Today can be quite easy to shake the self esteem of many people. They have no sense of self-esteem from the belief: "It's me, I can love, think and feel." Moreover, they feel much more confident if they recognized other people, if they can sell, if others say, "You're an amazing man" or "You're a wonderful woman".
The self-esteem dependent on the opinions of others, due to fear of change this opinion. Every day brings new challenges and constantly need to convince yourself and others that you're okay.

Ordinary people today are terribly lonely and feels alone. He offers himself as a product and feels that its value depends on its ability to sell itself, and of its recognition by other people. He notices that the price is not determined by any internal or consumer value of his personality, nor his power or ability to love and neither his human qualities. It is determined by how he can sell these qualities or because of them to achieve the success and recognition of others. That's what I mean by a "marketing orientation".