Author of quotes: Elif Shafak. Page 17

He stares at me, as if deciding how best to break the news.
- From the day the police came to my house, I think, think... Why? What is all this? Nothing happen just like that. God always has a purpose - right? I ask, what is the goal, but no answer. Now to understand.
- What are you talking about?
- I understand why God sent me here. In prison. Early not know be offended. Now to meet you all understand. Won't be sad.

Thinking about the nature of that incomprehensible desire, he understood, what not in forces to solve this mystery. This woman, with whom he had so little in common, had on his soul a power as irresistible as the power of childhood memories. For reasons hidden from his mind, but obvious to your heart, he wanted to protect her from the world with his love. Feeling like this, raised in it are three women: his sister, his mother and his ex-wife. But next to Pimbi he was experiencing something new, unknown before. Just next to it Elias felt that living the real life and its not afraid that this life is full of unknown dangers. A source of constant anxiety for him were only one thing: their love was illicit, and thus he could lose it any minute. Fear of losing Pimbi intensified and heightened his desire to possess her. Before meeting with her life like it was falling apart, and it all tied together, connected it with the past, with the ancestors, with the East. Her love was the missing piece of the puzzle, the guiding light in search of lost time.

He again begins to drivel.
- I come to you, ' he says. - I don't do early. To live without benefits. God to bring, God don't like lazy. We all have to work. A lot of work.
And how are we supposed to work?
- Mystics say...
- Who?
- Mysticism. Mystic - a person who to be able to look inside. In the heart. He know all people are connected. All people are similar. Different only on the outside. Skin, clothes, passport. It's all outside. And the heart equally. Always. Everywhere.

Adam held his breath, listening. He wanted to know what she dreams. Her body was lying in bed next to him, and the soul walked who knows where with another man. Maybe with someone she once loved. Adam didn't even know which is worse: to realize that this woman never was in love with, because it is not able to open my heart, or figure out what her only passion left in the past and no longer excite in her the same strong sense.

He liked to watch her sleep. Her face was quite different, relaxed. In the dream, she was not angry, not annoyed at him because he will never again be the person she wanted. Mouth which she the night washed peach lipstick became less and did not seem arrogant. Hair scattered on the pillow, just thread magic ball, pointing in all directions, but most importantly - in the direction of his heart.

I would really like to forgive me. Forgive from the heart. Of course, I understand that he can't love me. I can only dream. But if he forgave me, it would be better for him. Anger - a strong toxin that can cause cancer.

Why would I kill myself? Soon I will be released.
Then the officer Maclauglin privste, bends over the Desk and drilling me with her eyes, says a smart thing, what I from it did not expect:
- Alex, you know that you will never be released. From prison you can go out, Yes. But even when you walk the streets, you will remain a prisoner of the crime committed.

I always wonder why women's names are so different from men's. In the female names there is something whimsical and dreamy, as if women do not belong to reality, but to the world of imagination. Male names full of power, of significance and power. For example, Muzaffer means "winner" Farooq "one who distinguishes truth from falsehood", Husam El DIN - "sword of the true faith". Female names, on the contrary, similar to porcelain vases - they are elegant, refined and fragile. If your name is nilüfer - "Lotus flower", Gulseren - "blooming rose" or Binns - "a thousand compliments" your job is to decorate this world with their presence, but not to change it.

Gradually they took possession of the confidence that Pimbi will never come. Why did she come? In all likelihood, he was fenced off from reality, now that reality does not want to have anything to do with him.

In people many strange and unexplained. They consider insects disgusting, but when a ladybug gets into their hands, enjoy it like a happy mind. They hate rats, but squirrels cause tenderness. Vultures-the vultures seem to them vile, and the flight of an eagle they watched with admiration. Flies and mosquitoes they kill hundreds, and admiring the fireflies as a great miracle. The gold they are made the subject of reverent worship, although for household needs is much more important than iron and copper. On the stones under their feet they don't pay attention, but because of the polished nuggets are crazy.

By this time, Elias was already accustomed to constant pain. She was born somewhere in the stomach and has spread throughout the chest, preventing him laugh, and sometimes even to breathe. Friends continued to call him and demand that he interrupt his seclusion. They left messages on the answering machine, arranged him a blind date. But Elias didn't want to meet strange women - women who are too overestimated or, conversely, underestimated himself. He preferred to spend time alone and found more and more excuses for their choice. The loneliness which he feared all his life, has now become tangible, he swam in it, just in troubled waters, and it penetrated all the pores of his skin, filled with blood vessels and through the soaked fabric of his body. Oddly enough, this feeling was not at all terrible.

An Orthodox Christian by birth, an agnostic by conviction, Elias is nevertheless loved the Christmas atmosphere: elegant showcases, family gatherings, gifts, but especially the feeling of miracles. In childhood his favorite saints was St. Andrew of Crete - not because he was superior to other saints, piety and virtues, but because he was a walking miracle. Mute from birth, Saint Andrew in seven years suddenly began to speak and began to speak the truth, it would seem unfathomable for a child of his age. Little Elias loved this story with great pleasure imagined how amazed was adult when a dumb boy spoke the first words. It pleased him also the fact that Holy has gone down in history as a fiery preacher and writer of Church hymns and canons. If the one who from birth was doomed to remain silent, was able to achieve all of this, then life is not so hopeless thing, which it sometimes seems.

A man who has lost his honor, like the dead. He is no longer entitled to look into the eyes of others, and must walk, eyes downcast. He decides to go into the cafe to play backgammon, don't dare to watch football in the pub. His shoulders forever down, fists unclenched, the eyes sink, and the body seemed to shrink with each new hearing, reached his ears. When he speaks, nobody looks in his direction, his words have no more weight than dried manure. No one would smoke a cigarette offered to them; coffee, which he drinks, sour taste. He is not invited to weddings, engagement and circumcision, because he brings misfortune. His dishonor separated from other people, a man is rotting, as if touched by the damage to the fruit.

When I was seven years old, we lived in a small green house. One of our neighbors, a great tailor, often beat his wife. In the evening, we heard screaming and curses. In the morning we proceeded to business as usual. They pretended that eve heard nothing, saw nothing.
This book is dedicated to those who hears and sees.