Character: ESMA

I think life is a competition that will never end. Even for the love their parents have to fight, and the battle continues after they leave us.

Probably, I have a General problem with the perception of time. I don't know how to live for today, forgetting about yesterday. Again and again I remember about the girl possessed the great ideas which once was. This girl, who loved to play with words, today, little remains. Thinking about it, I feel so betrayed. Although the traitor is none other than myself.

Surprisingly, the discovery made this evening, not the least bit turned me against my mom. I had many other reasons to be angry at her significant and crap. But now, when I learned that she has her own world, or at least she tries the world to create, I do not feel hurt or offended. On the contrary, I have a desire to protect her. Now it seemed to me, creeping like a snail next to a voracious frogs.

I always wonder why women's names are so different from men's. In the female names there is something whimsical and dreamy, as if women do not belong to reality, but to the world of imagination. Male names full of power, of significance and power. For example, Muzaffer means "winner" Farooq "one who distinguishes truth from falsehood", Husam El DIN - "sword of the true faith". Female names, on the contrary, similar to porcelain vases - they are elegant, refined and fragile. If your name is nilüfer - "Lotus flower", Gulseren - "blooming rose" or Binns - "a thousand compliments" your job is to decorate this world with their presence, but not to change it.

The past, like the chest, standing in the attic. It's full of stuff, among which there are valuable things, but there is much more nonsense. I prefer to keep the box closed, but sometimes a gust of wind blew down from nowhere, lifts the lid of the chest and scatters the contents. I have to put everything back. Carefully, gently. All the memories, good and bad. And then, when the lid of the chest seems securely closed, another gust of wind reveals her again.

In my youth I thought I was meant to do great things, world problems and Grand ideas. Dreamed of becoming a writer and to devote himself to the protection of human rights. Imagined that I would travel around the world, helping the oppressed and disadvantaged. John. B. It is a world - famous author of the novels where no one ever falls in love. But although I had hoped to become the center of the universe, over the years I had to realize that I am just one of the characters in the novel, life writing, and is not important.