Character: Colonel Yakovlev

- You have low intelligence.
- What is it? I have a high intelligence.
- What is at the top of Maslow's pyramid?
Spire.
- The test showed that you're a moron, and I was right.

- I'm a girl in school redhead teased for a long time...
- ... so, and her Tits were large, and Volodya?
- Very long teased...
-... and the ass is normal?
Once she hid the briefcase. She got so mad at me...
- ... and exhaust you hooked! So here horoshenechko! Have Prigarin!
- The other girls told me: "Bob, don't. She's a redhead, witch - say - can curse." I was a fool didn't believe...
... you skirt off, and there's a bolt at her! Ah-ha-ha.
- But in vain. Got game. Get Vladimir Sergeevich.
- You think you a killer to hunt, because there once upon a time girl redhead cursed?
- No of course. The killer here.
- And what then?
- It's all you. You Izmailov! You're my curse. You, you, you...

- Meet Vladimir, my boss.
- Very nice, Hello.
Is Oleg.
- It's nice.
- And... uh... boys.
Nikita... [no reaction] Daty chtol?
- Finally in the shit.
Yes.
- Dead simple.

- It is necessary to Barvikha to drive.
What is this?
- There is one matter. We should run a few local noble men. Well, what if there's a dubious connection.
- Stuff once conceived, right?
- Why is it gross? I person help, by the way good.
Oh, Izmailov, you understand, not so simple. I there is no one else, you know? Well...
- You pay ten bills.
- ... n-go, th, we stand.

The size of the stars on the shoulder straps means the force with which you can someone to fuck.

Izmailov, the devil cursed, well, where is this your ectrically called us?
- Yes, it is the avant-garde, art, voloden'ka.
- You th, stupid, or what, exactly? My wife and I came here on a scene there is a naked man, then three more, all just with these... How so?
- Volodya, what are you, five? It's well theatre. Suits are, you know, silicone. Suit naked.
- Yes, some costumes, Izmailov? What am I, blind chtol to you? We are on the first row sitting, we crabs can jump!

You know, like Alcantara absorbs the smell of shit?

Izmailov, what are you doing?
Now piss on him and he'll come around.
- What? Are you...
- My piss is healing.
- You che, you fool.
Seriously. I was once a Gypsy taught. Works. So pissing on the people they came to life immediately.
- Call an ambulance, dinkus piece!

- Oleg, you che, in the chamber was?!
- No, damn it, it was immaculate shot, Vladimir!

- Why did you come to mankind? You want me to start killing people? So before long. Want to my wife was not? So you've done it two days ago.
- I?
- You! Read "Harry Potter", Izmailov? You're a Dementor. You suck people's joy and happiness of life. You know what I was before you in addition to a good night's sleep? Hair!

- A strange feeling. You know, I think the same fathers feel when daughters marriage issue. Did you feel ever?
- I have a son, not a daughter.
- Why didn't voloden'ka?
- Because I'm scared and hate to imagine what it would be to fuck some guy.
- Volodya, well, in our world, you know, the son is not a guarantee that it won't fuck some guy.

- Why on parade stand? Drunk, or what?
Yes. No! I just have crazy eyes!

- Volodya?
- Mmm?
- My brother... well, Yuri.
- Well? do not touch! [wife takes by the sleeve]
Well, he store opens underwear.
-[laughs]
- Here. They need a bodyguard. Here. If suddenly that... it's you...
- What do you want to say something? M? To me, the officer of the Soviet militia, the Colonel of the Russian police, Deputy chief of the police Department Barvikha went North to guard the boxers, or what?