Character: Professor Preobrazhensky

Zina, there in the waiting room, She in the waiting room?
- At reception, green vitriol.
- The green book...
Well, now to shoot. It is a public library!
- Correspondence is called, as it is... Engels with this devil... In her oven!

Explain to me please why we need to artificially fabricate Spinoza, when any woman can give birth anytime?

What do you mean by devastation? The old woman with a crutch? A witch who smashes all the Windows and put out all the lights? Yes it does and does not exist. What do you mean by this word? It is this: if I, instead of operating every evening, will start in his apartment singing the chorus, I will come devastation. If I'm entering the restroom, will, pardon the expression, peeing beside the pan and the same will be to do Zina and Darya Petrovna, in the lavatory will begin devastation. Consequently, the disruption is not in the closet, and in their heads.

Humanity itself takes care of this and in an evolutionary manner every year worked, highlighting the weight of all filth, creates dozens of outstanding geniuses decorating globe.

And - God forbid - never read before lunch Soviet Newspapers.
- Um... why others do not.
- So don't read any.

- Dad is a forensic investigator...
- Duck is also a bad heredity!

- You oppress me sick, dad.
What?! What I'm your father! What is this familiarity? Call me by my name.
Yes that you: do not spit, do not smoke, do not go there. Clean as a tram. What are you to me do not give to live?
And what about the "daddy" is you in vain. Did I ask for me to do the operation?
Pretty thing: grabbed the animal, slashed with a knife head...
And I may be their permission for the operation is not allowed.
Nor would my relatives.
I claim, may have the right to present.

- A document, Philip Philipovich, I have.
Document? Damn... And maybe this... somehow...
- That's - sorry. You know, a person without documents is strictly forbidden to exist.

Why was the carpet removed from the main staircase? M? Is it that Karl Marx forbids people to cover staircases with carpets? Somewhere Karl Marx said that the second entrance of the house on Prechistenka street should be boarded and have to go around through the back entrance?

- Well, the name, may I ask?
- Surname? I agree to take hereditary.
Namely?..
- Balls.

I am just four, among them one woman dressed as a man, two men, armed with revolvers, and terrorized me!

- You know, Professor, if you hadn't been a European star and you didn't stand up would be the most outrageous way, you should be arrested!
- For what?!
- And you do not like the proletariat!
Yeah, I don't like the proletariat...

But only condition: like anyone, anything, anytime, but that it was a piece of paper that neither Shvonder nor anyone else could even come to the door of my apartment. The final piece of paper. Actual! Real!! Armor!!!

And where am I supposed to eat?
- In the bedroom!
- It is very possible that Isadora Duncan does. Maybe she has dinner in the study and in the bathroom cuts rabbits. Maybe. But I'm not Isadora Duncan. I shall eat in the dining room and operate in the operating room! Pray inform the General meeting.