SelfPub: You know, when that happens, ...

You know, when that happens, I can't seem to forgive yourself. Still trying to find an excuse. Yourself. Her. Sometimes it seems to work, but the pain does not become less. She goes along with you. Day to day, from year to year. And all this time you expect that someday it will disappear, or at least blunted. While waiting, again and again back to the beginning, trying to prove something to myself, but actually her own, but actually anyone who did not believe. Although well aware that to blame you. You and only you. Was not pushy, did not go through. Chickened out? Chickened out. Scared. And then you even managed to find itself some noble excuse. You are now trying sometimes to convince myself to them, but to no avail. Meanwhile, identify themselves with the notorious hero of the novel, Fitzgerald, turn on every girl who even remotely resembles her. Of course, in the hope that this is it. I wish to see her, right? So by accident. That would be happiness. Such a simple recipe for happiness... Who would have thought...
Ask God in the hope to calm. Do you remember those stories about heaven? Is it true that we will be there with your loved ones?
These days and nights here on earth, torture... Why relive it again and again? For what? Trying to find some reason, something that could hang on... Vengeance? Yes, we are all weak, pathetic and insignificant. Admit? Each of your current step is not more than the echo of the last offense.
And here you are again running away for my shadow, running past life... So maybe it's time to finally stop? Maybe it's time to finally forgive yourself?