TV show: Open MIC. Page 12

Comedy in the theater - it is rather a philosophical concept. Sincerely in the theatre can laugh only two types of people. People with very high IQ and people with very low IQ. For example, there is a Reprise: "Transfiguration, why is your monocle on the left eye?" In the hall is heard: "ha Ha, hilarious". And "Monocle..."

I worked as a teacher in a private kindergarten. <...> A private kindergarten is such a kindergarten, where the cost of a monthly pass for one child covers my monthly salary. <...> In the private kindergarten should be much more attention to what they tell you kids. To me recently suitable the girl and said, "You're my husband!" I said, "whatever." Because it's really not for me to decide, her father is a Prosecutor. And if he says, I'm getting married, and she's cute. You say that it is a sharp statement about a four year old girl, but you won't hurt me. My future father-in-law the Prosecutor of the region.

In order to marry, you must be serious. But we must be serious in everything. So take off your hat, sneakers, wearing a gray turtleneck, black pants, shoes. That's when you look like a piece of shit, you ready. Are you ready to wine and dine her, you're attractive. Go to some cafe, get acquainted with the girl. She asks what you're doing, and you answered: "I am building a house. Great, for seven people with three bedrooms. I work in government organizations". No business! The business suggests that you're living on courage. You're as average.

Have you noticed how it becomes a circle of serious faces? Just some serious faces. And where did all this seriousness? We all with you were children, and childhood were not serious people. Because if in childhood if you were serious, came to you and said, "What happened?" Then you stuck a chip in the nose and all said that everything is fine. <...> I am now 29 years old and everywhere I hear that? "Childhood is playing... Moron. Not done that already. Windy". And you know, I've replayed all these phrases in my head, and realized that all of them, I heard a female voice. And I realized that all the serious faces of the women.

I just turned 28, and I bought cream from the "25+". That is, in the previous three years I thought: "It's not me." This cream myself at the time no one is buying. I would have just called it "Time". It's time to do something... And cream "50+" I would call "Meaning no special, but still anoint".

You know, when I was twenty and I looked bad, I knew sleep and in the morning everything will be fine. Now it's not working. 28, such you Wake up as if just returned from the apiary.

Me for us girls it's a shame. They say if you do something like a woman, then you're doing it badly. For example: "you Park like a woman?" "You fight like a woman?" And it's more like: "What are you bitching like a woman?" What's the impact actually? We do it awesome! Show me a guy that whines better than the woman, and I'll give him a hundred bucks! And you know what? He fails my test, because I needed to start whining, why not two hundred?

To rent an apartment there is something slavish. This is the only case when the modern man in the phone, someone might be recorded as "Mistress".

Once I got into the train and traveled in the wrong direction for half an hour. And I had to go on a small unknown station. It was night, it was the last train, and I knew that I had to call dad to pick me up, and Oh, how embarrassing! Because my dad is military, he at all desire will not be so messy. At 23 my dad drove the APC and participated in the withdrawal of troops from Afghanistan. I'm 23 and a half hour going in the wrong direction. I was afraid to call because I thought that if I call and say "dad, take", he will say: "let's face it. So you got into the train? And she went in the wrong direction? And so you drove an hour and a half? Then I'm afraid you have to die, there on in life all much more difficult. You're not fit!"

It was always interesting: the lady of the house of "Tom and Jerry" does not strained perfectly smooth arch in her wall? Just if I was at the apartment and saw a kind of arch, I'd have said, "ugh, what the hell? Is that a mouse made? My God, there's a tiny bed and a small lamp! And the little pad... so you wipe their feet after my apartment?"

My eldest daughter is almost ten. And it's that age when you have to show that I was very interested in everything that happens in her life. To do something together. That is why I have recently graduated from a Magic Academy "Winx". If someone doesn't know what it is, it is an online course for real fairies. So you can congratulate me, now I'm a real fairy chartered. And daughter happy. She says: "Cool! I am now in school will tell everyone that my dad is the fairy!" And I talked her out of it. Talk to her seriously. And now, instead of "my dad's a fairy," she tells everyone "my dad is a Chechen". I convinced her that it's much cooler, because they have more magic and power. And if there was the online Academy of the Chechens, I would have done it.

I am married and also want to buy the PlayStation, but when hinted about this at home, I said, "Look, max, you have a family, two kids, serious job, a mortgage... Why do you need this PlayStation?" And I said, "I mean, why? Because I have a family, two kids, big job and a mortgage". Me out of the loop only FIFA 16 pull!

I work in the temple. I'm singing in the Church choir. And so periodically consult friends, ask to be godfather to the child or to cover cakes without Queuing. I think that since I work in the temple, so there are some discounts, coupons. But no! It's just a job. I'm a musician. And I'm still playing rock band. And when someone notices, just say, "Oh, cool! Call for concerts!" And I initially called, but in 99 cases out of 100 the answer comes a message that always starts with a single word: "HAPP-y-Shai," And I don't blame anyone. I myself would probably not go. We are not a group that's tearing up stadiums. If we have a group in social networks there is a post, then under it usually stands about three husky. And it's the soloist, the drummer and me. And we are in group five.

When you're joking about the Church - it would be like to get into the Bank vault where a bunch of lasers. For you the main thing - God forbid, not to hurt anybody's feelings.