Khaled Hosseini. And echo is flying through the mountains (№ 386743)

I can hardly imagine them to confess. Namely, how afraid I am to be free despite my constant desire. Scared, what will happen to me next, what I'll do with them, when women will not. All my life I lived like a fish in aquarium safe glass walls, behind a barrier as impenetrable as it is transparent. I was free to look at the glittering world on the other side of the glass, imagine yourself in it if you want. But always remained locked away, surrounded by cruel unyielding boundaries of the existence that Baba has created for me first while I was young, created consciously, and now, when he from day to day was fading, or not. I think I've grown in the habit to this glass and now are terrified that when it breaks, when I'm alone, I will make open to the unknown and I'm helpless, confused flutter, gasping for air.
The truth is that I rarely admit: I always was in need of a burden - the woman on my back.