Eliezer Yudkowsky. Harry Potter and the methods of rationality (№ 390243)

Harry finished the address, folded the letter in half and tucked into an envelope, sending it to Hogwarts. Then, on reflection, took the candle and dropping wax on a corner of the envelope, pushed it with the tip of a penknife their initials: G. D. P. V. E. to Go crazy - so tasteful.
...
"Mom," spoke up Harry, I want to test the hypothesis. How, according to your theory, I should send an owl to Hogwarts?
Mother turned from the kitchen sink and looked at him, puzzled.
- I... I don't know. I think you must be a magic owl.
He had suspected the voice to say: "yeah, it turns out that to test your theory does not" but the strange certainty was not willing to give up.
The letter somehow got in here, - thought Harry, - so I'll just wave them on the street and shout: "the Letter to Hogwarts!" Look fly whether the owl to pick it up. Dad, do you want to go with me?
Father shook his head and continued reading.
...
Harry took a deep breath and raised the envelope into the air.
Swallowed.
Scream "a Letter to Hogwarts!", waving the envelope in the back yard of his house was suddenly very awkward experience.
No, I'm not like dad. I use the scientific method, even if it would look stupid.
- A letter... ' began Harry, but it turned out only some unintelligible staccato whisper.
Then he dug in his heels and shouted in the empty sky:
- A letter to Hogwarts! Can I get an owl?!
- Harry? - said almost above the ear, puzzled voice of a neighbor.
Harry pulled his hand away, as if burned, and hid the envelope behind his back as if it was proceeds from drug sales. Face burned from embarrassment.
Over the neighbor's fence there was a female face, uncombed gray hair sticking out from under a hair net. It was Mrs. Figg, which at times watching him.
- What are you doing here, Harry?
"Nothing," he replied in a small voice. Just checking... a very stupid theory...
- You received invitation letter from Hogwarts?
Harry froze on the spot.
"Yes," said his lips after a short pause, I received a letter from Hogwarts. They wrote that I sent them a reply with the owl until July 31, but...
But you have no owls. Poor boy! Can't even imagine what they were thinking, sending you a standard invitation.
Wrinkled hand with an open palm leaned out from behind the fence. Hardly knowing what was happening, Harry gave the envelope.
- I'll do it, dear, ' said Mrs Figg, I'll be bringing anybody.
And her face sticking out over the fence, disappeared.
In the yard a long silence that eventually broke the quiet voice of the boy:
What?