Book: War and peace. Page 8

Natasha was also in love with your fiance, as well comforted by this love and are also receptive to all the pleasures of life; but at the end of the fourth month of separation from him, she began to find moments of sadness, against which she could not fight. She was sorry for herself, sorry that she's so vain, for no one had been all this time in which she felt herself so capable of loving and being loved.

In the middle of a sentence Prince Andrew stopped and felt suddenly that his throat come the tears, the possibility of which he did not know for themselves. He looked at Natasha singing, and in his heart was something new and happy. He was happy and he was sad. He's nothing much to cry, but he was ready to cry? What? About the same love? About a little Princess? About their disappointments?.. About their hopes for the future? Yes and no. The main thing he wanted to cry, was suddenly vividly conscious of his terrible contrast between something infinitely great and indefinable that were in him, and something narrow and physically, than he was himself, and even she was. This contrast was tormented and delighted him during her singing.

No truth does not seem to be the same two people.

The source of bliss is not outside but inside the us...

If it was not, he said quietly, - we would have not talked about it, the Emperor mine. About what, about whom we spoke? Who were you denied? he said with an enthusiastic austerity and authority in his voice. - Who invented it, if it is not? Why were you in the assumption that there is such a strange creature? Why are you and the whole world has assumed the existence of such an incomprehensible being, of the being of the Almighty, eternal, and infinite in all his properties?.. - He stopped and was silent.
Pierre could not and did not want to interrupt this silence.
- It is, but to understand him is hard, ' said the Mason again, looking not at the face of the pier, and in front of him, his old hands which from internal unrest could not remain calm, turning over the leaves of a book. - If it were a man whose existence you would doubt, I would have brought you this man, take him by the hand and showed you. But how can I, an insignificant mortal, show all the omnipotence, eternity, all its goodness to the one who is blind, or who shuts his eyes to not see, not to understand it, and not see, not to understand all their filth and depravity? He paused. - Who are you? What are you? You dream that you are wise because you could utter those blasphemous words, he said with a somber and scornful smile, - and you're dumber and crazier than a small child, who would be playing the parts of a skillfully made hours, would dare to say that, because he does not understand the purpose of these hours, he did not believe in the master who made them. To know him is hard. For centuries, we, from our father Adam to the present day, working for this cognition and infinity are far from achieving our goal; but in the lack of understanding we see only our weakness and his greatness...

We can know only that we know nothing. And it is the highest degree of human wisdom.

The answer was this: "Die - it's over. Die and know all or cease asking". But to die was scary.

What was that? he asked himself. - I killed her lover, Yes, killed my wife's lover. Yes, it was. Why? How did I get here? - Because you married her, answered an inner voice.

Despite the fact that five minutes before this, Prince Andrew could say a few words to the soldiers carrying him, he now, just fix your eyes on Napoleon, He was silent... it seemed so insignificant in that moment all the interests occupying Napoleon, so petty seemed to him his hero himself with this petty vanity and joy in victory, compared to high, just, and kindly sky which he had seen and understood, that he could not answer him.
And everything seemed so futile and insignificant in comparison with the strict and magnificent system of thought, which caused his weakening strength from a trickle of blood, suffering and the near expectation of death. Looking into the eyes of Napoleon, Prince Andrei thought about the insignificance of grandeur, about the insignificance of a life that no one can understand the importance, and of even greater insignificance of death, the meaning of which no one could understand and explain living.

He knew it was Napoleon his hero but at that moment Napoleon seemed to him such a small, insignificant man compared with what was happening now between his soul and this lofty, infinite sky with running clouds it. He didn't care at this moment, no matter who stood over him, whatever may be said about him; he was glad only that I stood over him men, and wished only to these people helped him and returned him to life, which seemed to him so beautiful, because it is so differently understood her now. He collected all his strength, to stir and make some noise. He weakly moved his foot and made him razzhelobki, weak, painful moan.

Over him, there was nothing but sky - high sky, not clear, but still immeasurably high, silently creeping on him gray clouds. "How quiet, calm and solemn, not at all as I ran, thought Prince Andrew -- not as we ran, shouting and fighting; not so, like with angry and frightened faces dragged from each other the swab Frenchman and the artilleryman, - not so creeping clouds in the infinite sky. I have not seen that before high heaven? And how happy I am to have learned it at last. Yes! all empty, all is deception, except this infinite sky. There is nothing, nothing except him. But even there, nothing but stillness and peace. And thank God!..

Well, then... - is responsible for himself, Prince Andrew - I don't know what will happen, do not want and can not know; but if you want it, I want glory, want to be known to men, want to be loved by them, because it's not my fault I want one I want one I live in. Yes, for this one! I would never tell anybody this, but, my God! What do I do if I don't love anything, as soon as glory, love of human. Death, wounds, the loss of my family, nothing frightens me. And as no roads, no nice me many people - the father, the sister, the wife, - the dearest people to me, but, no matter how scary and no unnatural this feels, I will give them now for a moment of glory, of triumph over men, for the love of people I do not know and will not know, for the love of these people.

It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of God, these words scared just!

Selfishness, vanity, stupidity, pettiness in all - that women, when they are shown as they are.