Author of quotes: Mel Brooks

I'm probably the most insane veteran of world war II. Fought in the rank of corporal in North Africa, and 20 years later took the Comedy "Springtime for Hitler". Still getting indignant letters from Jewish grandmothers: do you think singing Hitler is funny? My mother was Jewish, and her these jokes did not bother. What's more amazing: my performance of "the Producers" with the same plot two months sold out was in Israel. That's why I went really dizzy: my Hitler spoke Hebrew!

Joseph Heller - the guy who wrote "catch-22" - loved Ilf and Petrov and forced me to read the "Golden calf". I was in awe. Ask: these figures have anything else published? Heller then gives me "the Twelve chairs". I fell in love. Bender is me. Scoundrel. A lover of women. No morals, no character. Bender is an animal that is in each of us.

The genius is in the simplicity. Mark TWAIN, John Steinbeck - they have a very simple language, one word comes after another. No theories - just stories about people and their dreams.

Comedy is checking the world clock.

I soon realized his destiny, in five years: for every ten Jews, beating his breast, God created one crazy Jew - to amuse these ten.

The Iraq war is a great subject for Comedy. Why are Americans in Iraq? Nobody did not understand. We found Iraqi weapons of mass destruction? There isn't. We freed the Iraqis from some sort of chains? No - now we are respecive them in prisons. It would be a black Comedy, and very funny, I assure you.

Political correctness is the enemy of good jokes. Thank God, I managed to remove the "blazing saddles" - now nobody's allowed to say "nigger". I saw on TV the comedian Sasha Cohen, "Kazakh journalist" - that is class! My favorite episode is when he tells Congress: "I was under the impression that you ***s". Takes them completely out. A beautiful madman.

If God wanted us to fly, he would have given us tickets.
If the Lord had intended people to fly, he would have given us tickets.

I take direction only in self-defense.

Crying and laughing man from the back look the same.

If presidents can't do that with their wives, they do it with their countries.