Have you ever had that? (№ 424103)

Have you ever had that? you are happy, you smile, you feel that you are needed. affection, care. what you wanted.
but. there is always a but. somewhere deep you still understand that it's temporary, and this smile, and these people, and this happiness. yes, you are surrounded by care and love, attention, good people. but, no matter how cool, you feel a note of sadness. sadness at the realization that this is an increasing illusion. an illusion that can evaporate at any moment. the illusion you always expect. but when it comes, you still don't feel happy. still something will be wrong!
and then you start putting everything in place. people will leave. the smile on your face will disappear. and there will be no more care and attention. love? it's gone. and it wasn't. you don't remember when you stopped believing in her. year? two ago? I guess. maybe more. it doesn't matter. either way, you'll be alone. one. it's when you comfort yourself with the words "it's better to be alone than to be judged." and you don't know how long it's going to last. if this time everything went faster and a man appeared. again. there was a man, people. again. attention, care. again. love? No.
and everything goes in circles again. Every time.