Ilya Ilf, Evgeny Petrov. The Golden calf (№ 449486)

It's no longer a secret that you don't love me. I will never achieve what Kolya Osten-Baken achieved from Inga Zayonts, my childhood friend. Therefore, I will not sigh in vain, I will not grab you by the waist. Consider the serenade over. Balalaikas, psaltery and gilded harps subsided. I came to you as a legal entity to a legal entity. Here is a folder of three or four kilos. It is for sale and costs a million rubles, the same million that you, out of greed, do not want to give me. Buy.