Author of quotes: Jonathan Swift. Page 1

About seventy moons ago, two warring parties were formed in the empire called the Tremexens and Slemexens, from high and low heels on shoes, with which they differ from each other. It is argued that high heels are most consistent with our ancient state structure, however, however that may be, His Majesty decreed that only low heels should be used in government positions handed out by the crown.

When a vacancy for a high office opens, due to death or disgrace (which happens often), five or six applicants petition the emperor to allow them to entertain his imperial majesty and the court by dancing on a tightrope; and whoever jumps above all, without falling, gets a vacant position.

This monarch lives mainly on income from his personal estates and very rarely, in the most exceptional cases, applies for a subsidy to his subjects, who, on the other hand, are obliged, at his request, to appear at war in their own arms.

I asked you to notify me by letter when the party feuds and intrigues cease; judges will become enlightened and fair; solicitors - honest, moderate and acquire at least an ounce of common sense.

If the most uncivilized peoples rise in one way or another to the idea of a god or a supreme being, then they rarely forget to feed their fears in the form of dark concepts, which, for lack of better application, serve them quite satisfactorily as the devil.

When the human spirit spurs and unleashes its thoughts, it is no longer able to stop, but naturally rushes from one extreme to another, from high to low, from good to evil; in the initial flight of imagination, he usually is carried away to the most perfect and lofty ideas, but, entering such areas from which it is no longer possible to distinguish the boundaries separating height from depth, he, in the same impulse and keeping the same course, falls headlong down to the very bottom of the abyss ...

What filth fills the press.

In addition to the actual diseases, we are subject to many imaginary diseases.

In oratory the greatest skill is to hide the skill.

Falsehood flies, and truth, limping, comes after her.

Anyone who is able to grow two spikelets of wheat on that place where only one grew before, deserves the highest praise of mankind, for his country, he does much more than all the politicians put together.

There is no more blind than he who doesn't want to see.
None so blind as those who won't see.

Believe me, any mortal now living happier than me; I don't want to say that it was unfortunate, but everything I can't taste because of the inability to live as I would like.

I complain that the deck is poorly shuffled, only until then, until a good map.