Author of quotes: Alexander Pokrovsky

Women ought to constantly make them laugh, otherwise she will dump you.

Rising above time and space, and then you will see how very important the person sits in the Mercedes, but before you sit down, he picks up a semi-long, heavy, expensive coat and shakes off the dust with a marvelous shoes, and pulls through two quarters, it is blown up from a grenade launcher.
The question is, why was it necessary to shake marvelous shoes?

"There", "Yes", "no" and "cheers!" - four words allocated to the serviceman. How to do a dissertation? Don't understand...

- My God, how many are not done... not done... how much and how many yet to do...

What naval laugh? This is when you missed.

- Where's your syllabus?
- Not a strong outline...

And what you can do, comrade captain third rank, a submariner in the Royal Navy of Russia?.. I can:
From Toastmasters to the janitor,
From the spades to space,
From the ditch to the fleet!
Can - to wear, to carry, to dig, pour, paste!
Can - wipe with a damp cloth!
Can - again!
And to protect the Homeland?
And this is - "defend the Homeland". Homeland begins with a doormat... for a submariner in the Royal Navy of Russia... and chemist, sorry for the expression...

When he received his "cap two," he wandered on the pier drunk and yelling at three in the morning, there's a pink sunset, the lower layers of the atmosphere:
Star! Found! His! Hero!

A soldier chooses one obscene word and constantly walks with him.

It's always only think about the head, and there he was. Well, now relax. In the face of fear and pained look girls Polonyankin.
- Come here!.. Closer!.. Nothing to shake! Who are you?! I ask you: who are you? I tell you that? What do you think?! Who! Who?!!

Service in the Navy cannot be taken seriously, otherwise you'll go Batty. And the head cannot be taken seriously. And he yells at you because she yells, but because boss state should be.

What distinguishes the military from the rest of the bipeds? Much different! But above all, I think - the ability to sing in any time and any place.

If you want to live, you need to learn not to breathe.

- ... and carried out the repair method exit doors...