Author of quotes: Tom D'Ansenbur. Page 3

By naming a need, we, on the one hand, clarify what we know about ourselves and take full responsibility for our experiences, on the other hand, we inform the partner about what is happening, while respecting his freedom and his responsibility. We suggest that he take responsibility, not submit. We invite him to a dialogue with himself, which does not exclude a connection with us.

Why is it so difficult for parents to listen to a teenager? Most often because it seems to them that they have to do something, come up with something, achieve a result, find a solution - as quickly as possible. However, it happens that they do not see a solution and feel powerless or tired of trying to find one. And in order to get rid of the tension, fear or fatigue caused by powerlessness, they flee, denying the problem ("But this is not so important ... You are exaggerating ... Make an effort on yourself ... Life is not always easy ..."), or react aggressively ("You yourself guilty, you are not trying well ... If you would have taught your lessons better ... "). Instead of just taking the time to meet the child halfway by listening carefully.