Author of quotes: Henry Louis Mencken. Page 1

Theology - the attempt to explain the unknowable with the help of stuff not worth knowing.

Conscience is the inner voice that warns that for us who's watching.

Jealousy: theory, according to which your neighbor is not more taste than you.

Before the previous - bow down before the future roll up your sleeves.

The bride at the altar: "Finally! Finally!"
Fiancé: "it's too late! Too late!"

Hope is a pathological belief in the impossible.

Husbands never become good; they just gain experience.

Men live a lot better than women: first, they later married, secondly, before dying.

A man can be stupid and not know it - but only if he is not married.

Male looking for someone to whom he could be proud of; a woman looking for a shoulder to which she could lean.

Morality is the theory that every human act is either good or bad, and 99% bad.

When a wife believes her husband on the floor, she begins to arouse suspicion.

Idealist - a man who, upon discovering that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that the soup of roses will turn out tastier.

Celebrity - a person known to many of those whom he, fortunately, doesn't know.