Author of quotes: Eduard Uspensky. Page 1

"I wonder how I will reward for the arrest of a Rhino?", - thinking Cheburashka on the go.
He knew that there were three medals: "For the rescue of drowning", "For bravery" and "For work". "For the rescue of drowning" here is clearly not fit.
"I think I'll give "For bravery", he thought, pursuing the Bird (approx. The so-called Rhino).
"No, "For bravery" will not", - flashed in his head, when he again had to flee from an angry Rhino.
And when he ran around town for fifteen miles, kilometers, finally convinced that he would be awarded the medal "For labor".

Rainbow slowly walked down the dark street. All the city is long asleep, and there was not a soul. But suddenly, right over the Rainbow, on a high tree, he heard a rustle.
- Who's there? he asked.
- It, - answered the thin voice. The Old Woman Shapoklyak.
And the donkey saw the branches of my old friend.
- What are you doing there?
Visu, ' replied the old woman. - For two hours.
- Clearly, - said Cheburashka and went on.

- And you know - suddenly said Galya - how many in our city that's such a lonely CanGrow and Tobiko?
- How much? asked the crocodile.
- Lots of, - she answered. - They have no friends. No one comes to his birthday. And nobody will miss them when they are sad.

Took Matroskin greeting card with flowers and kittens and wrote:
"Ball, you dunce!"
Pechkin mind:
- It is wrong. If a postcard greeting, first to congratulate the recipient relies.
Roger added:
"Congratulations, Ball, you, dunce!".

Matroskin says the seller:
Hello, we need a bed on wheels. Do you have such? To us aunt comes to visit on a permanent life.
The seller says:
- We now have any beds there. Though on wheels, even with a motor. In our village the capitalism came.
- Okay - said the uncle Fedor, let's see your bed.
- What did they see? - says the seller. - You tell what you require. We will nainam the button, and uncle Bob get it from the warehouse will bring.
- Some strange you have the capitalism to come, says Roger. And beds you heaps, and buttons there, and uncle Bob all the same the severity drags, as in the developed socialism.

When you don't know what to write about, write about the weather.

The outrage in the court of capitalism is built, and we have one pair of boots at all, as in the developed socialism!

- Dad, tell me, please, when was the last time you saw a bouquet of roses?
- Come on, says dad.
- Why? - asks uncle Fyodor.
- Because ever since I got married, my views have changed. I think the most valuable gift for a woman is a sack of potatoes. Know how many bags I have for your mom is moving?

- If I have a collar with medals, I'm another dog going. Me so much of nobility will appear and the courage that the two English lords enough.
- Nobility and courage, not from the medals appear - grumpy replied Roger, but on the contrary, the medals from them go. Is it just people's artists bravery from medals occurs.

- Where are we going? Buttermilk because trains do not go, and with buses in the winter disruptions.
- And our "Zaporozhets" what?
- Oh, - said the Pope - is a retarded car. He was immediately obsolete was invented. This avocado not to drive, and for repair designed.