Character: Seller

Stole once is a thief for life.

Thor I need a horse!
Seller: we Have no horses. Puppies, kittens, birds...
Thor: Only larger to ride.

- Punch, please. [Puts a few bottles of alcohol]
Eighteen is?
- Yes.
- Do you have documents?
No.
- To prove otherwise can you?
No.
- Then come the fuck out of here!
- And you can prove that I was not eighteen years?
Hmm, in short, pay up and get out of here!

- I'm not suicidal. I just have a problem with the Mockingbird.
- Well, you can't kill a Mockingbird.
Why?
Well, I have the book "to Kill a Mockingbird"...
And it is also wrap.
- No, that is not leadership, it's a novel.

It is a humorous Department. Here you will find everything you need. There is adult humor, English humor, humor for idiots. For example [reading from book]: "tuk-Tuk"
- Who's there?
- "I"
- I.
- "The two of us?"
Ha ha ha, I would have bought it.
Hmm ...

- Tell us something about this table.
- It is wooden and for him to eat.

And have offensive books?
- No!
- Sorry, it's the only thing not produced in Braille.

What weapons are you looking for?
- Which hurts.

- 53 dollars a week on cigarettes? Seriously? You would pay someone that much money every week to kill you? That's exactly what you're doing when you pay for the so-called privilege to smoke!
- All the same someday we'll die...
- <...> Of course, we all have to die someday, but do we have to pay for it?

- Do you have anything for ten dollars?
Yeah, two almost new five-dollar bills.

Matroskin says the seller:
Hello, we need a bed on wheels. Do you have such? To us aunt comes to visit on a permanent life.
The seller says:
- We now have any beds there. Though on wheels, even with a motor. In our village the capitalism came.
- Okay - said the uncle Fedor, let's see your bed.
- What did they see? - says the seller. - You tell what you require. We will nainam the button, and uncle Bob get it from the warehouse will bring.
- Some strange you have the capitalism to come, says Roger. And beds you heaps, and buttons there, and uncle Bob all the same the severity drags, as in the developed socialism.

- Can I help you?
- He wronged his girlfriend, and he wants a gift for her.
Great. Girl problems pay for higher education of my daughter.

- What you have the most expensive champagne?
- "IALA" - 13, 95.
Just? And the other you do not? Hundred dollars a bottle?
- Can buy "Mama".

Can I get you anything to suggest?
- Oh, Yes! We need an electric saw with variable speed and a simple disk replacement.
- What will be cut? Tree?
- Human skin and bones is incredibly easy as it seems.
It's not that bad.
- Actually, that's just a nightmare to be...
- You need the saw is around the corner.
- And don't call the police.