Character: Dwight Schrute

- Perfect comparison. But your friends were bitten by a mad spider masturbator.

- We have, Schrute, there is a tradition to be married, standing on the graves of their ancestors, it's very romantic...
- People in the world became too much, we again needed the plague...

I found a needle in a haystack!
Congratulations. Know what you won?
What?
- Nothing! A life lesson! Not every case is worth the effort to apply.

- Say "good morning", "good afternoon." People appreciate it.
We see each other every day, we can say, a good month?

Bandits like raccoons. Feed them cat food and they come back for the cat.

- What have you got?
Yeah it's just an old photo album of Stanley. I was thinking about throwing it in the trash. I mean, why would I want some random black man's old photo album sitting on my bookshelf. I'm not James Franco.

Jim is my enemy. But as it turned out, Jim is his own worst enemy. And the enemy of my enemy is my friend. So Jim - in fact my friend. But because he's his own worst enemy, and the enemy of my friend is my enemy, it turns out that Jim is my enemy. But...

Criminals are like raccoons: we should let them try cat food they'll be back for the whole cat.

- I think it's time to bury the hatchet.
Only good axe will spend.

To tame not just the rebellious toaster.

- What was the most inspiring thing I told you?
- "Don't be an idiot", it changed my life. Before something to make, I think, "would this idiot?" If so, I do not.

- I am against violence at work.
- I also.
No one asked you.
- It does not matter.