the British [Theme] Page 5

I remembered the joke about two Englishmen, thrown on a desert island, they lived there for five years and not exchanged a single word, as it was not introduced.

- Of course, if we were in Chicago, I would have found someone, and my husband would be finished off, but here in England, you, apparently, don't keep assassins.
- And here in England, we believe that everyone has the right to live, ' said Poirot, smiling.

Bad to have an Anglo-Saxon enemy, but God forbid to have a friend!

Raised eyebrows and an embarrassed cough - this is probably the worst thing that can happen to you when you break the rules of English behavior at a party.

The British of all classes are convinced that tea has miraculous properties. Cup of tea can cure, or at least significantly to alleviate almost any trifling ailment, from headaches to scraped knees. Tea is also a good cure for all diseases and social or psychological in nature - from insulted "me" to the emotional trauma resulting from divorce or bereavement. This magic drink and effective as a sedative and as a stimulant. Tea and soothes, calms and excites, increases vitality. Whatever your mental or physical condition, all you need is "a good Cup of tea".

If we ourselves do nothing but criticize their weather, foreigners are not allowed to criticize. In this sense, we treat the weather as a family member: one may Express dissatisfaction with the behavior of their children or parents, but the slightest hint of condemnation from the outsider is considered unacceptable and is regarded as bad manners.

Irony around the head. In the words of one astute observer, the British "born to irony". We swim in it from his mother's womb. This - amniotic fluid... We are joking you are not joking. Worried about not worrying. Serious not seriously.

Don't confuse humor with the English "good humor" or "cheerfulness". Often it is something opposite.

The Englishman will apologise to you, even being your fault in a puddle, if it is obvious that you pushed him in there unintentionally.

- Well, how's your book about English identity? What kind of head work?
- Writing about sex.
It will be twenty blank pages?

Learn to meet every problem, from the charred toast to the third world war - our traditional cry of "That's so!", saying it offended, with immense patience and self-confidence of a knowledgeable person, and you will become fully acculturating Englishman.

The main thing - hypocrisy.
Restraint, restraint, reticence, shyness, embarrassment, evasiveness, hypocrisy, politeness through clenched teeth - it's all very English.

Often say that to the animals we are treated as people, but it's not true. You never saw how we treat people? So surly and unfriendly attitude towards animals would have been unthinkable.

The British, they were like, they may collapse the house, and they though henna - drink your tea at five o'clock, and the world for them will Shine again colors.