TV show: Stand Up. Page 26

The most annoying people who are not doing their job and hide behind the fact that they just don't like their jobs. Don't like - change. I changed many jobs: I distributed leaflets, I did pizza, I was selling vacuum cleaners "Kirby"... I was on the bottom. Know that at the bottom? On the bottom is very dirty. There can not do without the vacuum cleaner "Kirby".

Women go to cry in the bathroom because there are better acoustics.

The people are of the opinion that the military - limited people. Nothing of the sort. For example, I first time went to the theater while serving in the army. And not because I wanted to, but because it was an order. Order the whole company to go to the theatre. So, you know, entertainment March. But we like it because, after all, without masks and in the form of...

Coming to the hospital are required to wear Shoe covers, these Shoe covers are paid. One pair of Shoe covers costs 5 rubles. On average, the hospital comes 800 people a day. Not that I like to count other people's money, but quite by accident I found it. It turns out, purely on booties and a half million rubles per year. Agree, it turns out not sickly boroboro?

It is unclear why the pharmacy Windows. Is someone comes into the pharmacy to afford something to choose? You will not find a single person in the pharmacy who would come in search of something new.

In old age it scares me that I really did not see any grandfather that would be better than grandmother. Notice that if it is an elderly couple, the grandfather sits, and grandma worth? When the train come grandparents a place inferior to them. I even saw one grandmother who was pretending to be asleep so as not to give grandfather seat.

They say that in thirty years the man comes the midlife crisis. When I was thirty years old, there was nothing. There is no crisis. Just six months spent at home. Reviewed old photos, listen to Mariah Carey... is it a crisis? This is so nostalgic.

I was brought up that I believe that women can not be beat. I fully support this policy. But, guys, agree, there are situations when I would like to click the girl. And, girls will agree, there are moments when you stand and think: "Phew, thank God, we can't be beat!"

The only thing I have to do in the upbringing of his daughter is to protect her from all kinds of morons. And I clearly know how to protect her from this kind of "grooms". For example, I reviewed with her all movies so if one day some wise guy invited her to his home and say, "Come over tonight, watch some interesting movie," my girl said, "And I've seen all the interesting movies. I'm not even all interesting films seen. My father actually wound up with eight months, I movies shows. Serbian hardest was".

When people say "we broke up" is a complete lie. In parting there is no "we". Always one throws the other. And I know how to any pair left? Threw the one that says "we broke up."

My mother is a medical worker. And all mommy's friends are doctors. And if normal people came to my mother's friend and brought candy, drank tea, then came to me my mother's friends brought a stethoscope and listened to me.

The only time a man can be creative by buying her flowers is when he did not have enough money for a ready-made bouquet.

It is believed that every man wants to have a son, but it is not so. I, for example, a girl, and I feel very cool because I realized that my main task as a father in raising her daughter is not to go as directly from the hospital my daughter was in Indian camp. Its already there waiting for my wife, mother wife and my mother.

In contrast to Moscow, in Odessa, no one was nervous. On the contrary, nervous Muscovites come to Odessa for the summer to treat your nerves. And Odessans make money on it. A rich nervous Muscovite contains up to ten peaceful citizens of Odessa.