TV show: Comedy club. Page 4

I've been ashamed of your parents? God Forbid. If I ever say that I am ashamed of my parents from this Studio anyone can find me anywhere on earth and shoot me in the head of the most powerful gun. A man who is ashamed of their parents, do not deserve to live in this world. Because you should be grateful your parents your whole life because you gave birth to and gave you one chance. I'll even tell you a little secret, it's a very intimate thing. When I put my mother in a standstill when my Foundation is much stronger and when I seemed to have won and have nothing to cover, she is the most powerful trump, my mother asks me:
- And someone forgot it?
- Mom, I'm the shit.
- Whose?
And I have to answer:
- Mom, I'm your shit.
You all shit your mom, remember this, and live with it.

This year the pension has reached a living wage! Why do people who live at the cost of maximum set us a living wage?

Pension Fund - this is a separate trick. At age 60 men have come, Yes, to retire? And before that age you have to pay each month a little money, then to you, when 60 years old you reach, will pay with these money some money. Look at me - I smoke, I drink, I go to clubs and all that. I will die in 59! Who will get my money, huh?

Will a Mojito to drink from the bottle: I'm from your neck... you from my...

The worm Anatoly looking for to eat,
But the mole Athanasius found it earlier.
Such is life without reproach, without hypocrisy,
He searched, he searched, but found him sooner.

Why the teacher says: "Look, guys, it's Italy, it looks like a boot". What are you talking about? Italy is like a Paradise! You like boots.

Three girls under the window
Spun fiberglass.

40-degree Cupid.

Hit parade of phrases "before" and "after" of sex:
After sex:
"- And you can I bum a cigarette?"
"And will you marry me?"
"You fucking sleep?"
"Well, now, let's get acquainted!"
"- Uh, why is it so expensive?"
"- (gruff voice) You at least liked it, Gregory?"
"- And you're Antonio Banderas?"
"You'll know how my apples stealing!!"
"- And still "aka" spacious car!"
"- Anyway, I won't tell you anything!"
"- And my clip will definitely show on Muz-TV?"
"All right, boys, let's run away!"
"Who's there?!"
"Well, well, well, well... let's have your record book."
"Tomorrow you will go first!"
Before sex:
"Oh... I think the Elevator is stuck..."
"Boy, want some candy?"
"Oh, I had so much to drink and haven't drunk!"
"Hello, I am Antonio Banderas!"
"Honey, I got hit our Lexus..."
"We go to the cottage to session to get ready!"
"Not catch, do not catch up..."
"Well, Yuri Mikhailovich, I don't have time to finish building for the Olympics..."
"- Uh, who dropped the soap??"
"And you, Stirlitz, I ask to stay!"

Hit parade of phrases, after which you can immediately get in the face:
"- Sorry, guys, I don't smoke, give into the entrance of the pass."
"- Uh! Che flyer is not taken, dick?"
"Hello! It's "operation Tide or boiling"
"Hey, you first go to a driving school, and then Mercedes with flashing lights buy. Gg"
"Honey! Now if zero falls out, in my face!"
"- CeTO the Wake of some boring today..."
"- I'm such a chela will call you to me, the jockstrap hairy, not only in the club will be allowed, but to kiss his feet BU..."

- Look, I'm giving you everything everything girls are like? You have that sex have not been?
- Why is "long gone"? A long time ago.

Love is like a fire. The stick will not throw - will not ignite.

- Here's Kharkiv Universal Iodine!
- A abbreviation?
- Abbreviated and do not...

- I feel like a wet salt in the salt shaker.
- In terms of?
- Not enough sleep...