TV show: Comedy club. Page 1

- I am professionally engaged in Boxing.
- I am professionally engaged in sex.
- Can you imagine what I'll do with you?
- Imagine what I'll do to you?

I work in a Bank,
But I wear boots.
Even though I'm a top Manager
But eat instant noodles.
Go to the "Lada" I,
And instead of Croatia
We are a family
Going on vacation to Iraq.
This sanction
They have 12,
With a naive signature "Obama".
These sanctions
Putin smiled
Although a smile is unlikely that will fix it...

Women, unlike us men, are not afraid to fall in love, but are afraid that they will stop loving...

- Victor Nikolaevich, and there's a crab in the seaweed.
- Huh? What?
- Victor Nikolaevich, is the crab in the seaweed.
- The algae eat the crab!
- Yes, what you say!
- I in shock!
- Victor Nikolaevich...
Yes, Yes, lyudochka.
- To order seaweed with crab?
- Remove, please, crab, seaweed and bring it back.
- No seaweed, please Lyuda.

- Victor Stepanovich, maybe tea? Coffee?
- Lyudochka, bring tea, please.
- Coffee?
- Bring tea, please, Lyuda.
- Tea?
- Tea.
And tea there.

- Ruslan, tell me where, where is the man? Where is the one who says: "Faith, I don't care that you're gorgeous, you have a third breast size that you have long legs, silky skin... it's important what you have inside, your inner world! It is important that you like Chekhov. It is important that you know three languages. It is important that you love the painting." Where is he?!
- Do you like Chekhov?
- Ruslan, imagine.
- Know three languages?
- Even more.
- Love the arts?
- Love.
Vera, this information makes your breast of the third size even more.

... we are now in the supermarket for three hours to choose what eggs we buy? Maybe white, maybe yellow? Maybe village, or maybe grandmother, or maybe grandfather? Early to buy eggs, you could sacrifice your own. Before all the queues had more eggs than on the counter!

... Not the restaurant grilled meat cost 300 rubles and grilled vegetables cost 300 rubles. To grow a pig, you need to build a farm, build a pigsty, let the pigs take care of them, feed them three times a day. To grow eggplants need the rain!

Before there were only two hygiene products: shampoo "Daisy" and soap. And when the shampoo "Daisy" ended, soap became shampoo. The house could result in anything (light, gas, electricity), but not soap! Never run out of it!

... And now we have a razor with four blades. Each shaves cleaner than the previous one. And we throw away the razor when I erased the blue layer. Before throwing the razor when the razor is worn off!

Girls now can pump up the lips, change the shape of the nose and even to make artificial Breasts. In the Soviet Union, the artificial breast has been only one man - the clown of the Pencil in the room in which he portrayed a woman.

We can now change the appearance as you like: tattoos, piercings, scarification. In the Soviet Union people could change themselves appearance in two ways: to grow a mustache or shave his mustache, and this was true of both men and women.

We are now, if you want to know some news, immediately climb to the Internet. Before the whole Internet has replaced the tear-off calendar on the wall. From there we learned the news. For example, June 21 is the summer solstice and the list of birthdays, and in the end was the recipe for sauerkraut. You read it, then told his wife. That is to say, "retweeted" recipe.

Earlier, people were not photographed in the picture, and the memory. And people were not taking pictures of cats. And if the cat was in the picture, he got a trendyuley, not the huskies.