Book: Alexis, or Reasoning about the futile struggle

You know Voronskii ponds - You said that they look like pieces of a cloudy sky that fell to earth and seeking to climb up again by the fog. As a child, I was afraid of these ponds. Then I realized that there is mystery and ponds, like everything else, like peace, like silence, reveal to us only its external cover and the worst of cheating is the kind of serenity. When I recall my childhood, it seems to me a great serenity at the threshold of the great anxiety which had become my life.