Book: Game confession

I live alone. Used. Feel more than comfortable. It's not right? I do not know. Maybe it's not normal for singles who live that life. And I have all happened. And the wife he loved. And women who gave me the vertical and horizontal spiritual pleasures. And periods of zero when the vertical overlap with the horizontal. Not discouraged never.
Now deep relationships not looking. Don't see any sense in this. Surface of reciprocity occur from the state of the soul. I often grim and unsociable, but sometimes I get fun and, at times, I'm happy so much that roam the streets with a blossoming face, just a crazy city. Shunned publicity, because publicity is always fraught with vagueness judgments. Who knows me a little bit, I heard about that more than anything I don't like the genre of serial vulgarity, where the devil is not the devil, but only a pathetic clown on the payroll from the master. And a passion - bubbles. I can not tolerate sentimentality. Dribbling painful episode I cauterized once and for all with one thought: "I do Not want to let your soul corroding a drink of undeveloped passions. The tears are different. I'm ready to kneel before you with tears of repentance, or the thrill of the meaninglessness of existence, but will never accept household tearfulness - sentimental relationship to other roles of another movie." In other words, gray crotch can not bear. Although living in the midst of it.

Do not carry a confessional tone. In writing images are born in the depths of the ego and bear equally little resemblance to the kind, how the words spoken before a priest in the sacrament of penance, with motivating their appearance is a fundamental principle. Come here to apply the tool of psychoanalysis - any attempt to pry candor for a living would be akin to fishing hook fish in troubled waters.

I decided long ago that choir singing is not for me, and to take part in the show of the absurd - it's like that religiously believe in a bunch of unscrupulous people who are able to build fabulous city of the sun. Even the reverie must come from pure motives, out of humility, not of fanaticism. The idealist should not forget that lives on the sinful earth. You can build is sun city concentration camps and call it Paradise, you can build a temple to the sky without Foundation. Both disgusting and does not live long, but the extremes are so loved by public people and power-hungry. Ambition is the root of all evil in politics.
Yes, that's what I answered.
My manifestation in public life - is trying to understand a little bit with yourself. If I can wash a little dirt from their own insides, and throw it so as not to hurt any of the others, I believe that will shake the heavenly spheres. To manage our waste souls, preferably away from human eyes. After the confession in the churches of notes with enumeration of sins burning in barrels. Thank God, you can make a cleansing of the soul in secret, non-transparent way. Without notes and barrels. In silence it's easier to look at yourself and repent that burns or stings the conscience. But to repent is one thing, but to be corrected, that is, to change the character - is quite another. Character is second nature. But if you are seventy years old, nature is difficult to change. People say that humpback grave corrects. I will say more - the stubborn, whom destiny has entrusted to live more than sixty, able to change only shock therapy.
From my own experience know that it is easier to move mountains than to change one line of his character.

The journalist came before the elections to the state Duma to talk about politics, but soon realized that the policies I have little interest in. Of course, I was a bit strained the fact that the forgotten man was the beauty of the world of cities and money in order to talk about politics. What could I say to her? Politics has long been a kind of show business. What it flourish laws? What kind of laws exist in the "crotch"? The world is heading into the abyss. Already closer than you think. Everything is obvious to the eye, not littered with tinsel. But why did she come to me? Weird. In contemporary policy the worst of a specialist than me, hard to find. Except from these considerations? To amuse the audience? Devil. Beautiful.
And I told her my position as best I could, with irony and delicacy permissible because it was nice to chat with a woman from another world. Similarly, the alien came down to earth to shake up an old bachelor.

However, it is better to think in advance.
Let us reason together: why do people live? The only meaning of life is to acquire happiness. Happiness - this is joy. It warms your heart a constant value. Unless someone can dispute this, in fact, a simple truth? Everyone wants to be happy, but not everyone knows what to do for this. Now I think I understand what to do to be happy. Or not to do, that happiness does not blur. The will in man alone, but the vectors of efforts of different. Can strong-willed effort to force yourself to do something, and you can refuse to things familiar and pleasant. The last is immeasurably more difficult. Habit is a second nature. Pressed and the habit of amenities. Sometimes it is almost a stone. Try to break up.
I would not dare to this story, if a few years ago before some state elections to me in an interview not asked a local reporter. Found out somewhere on the literary side of my life, figure out what I have in store several published books. Googled her and realized that at the time I was finishing another novel. And the phone call started.
At first I was like, shied away from the conversation, but she was persistent and stubborn. Without an invitation arrived one day on a white sedan over to my house and was totally and naturally a redhead.

However, the flesh itself sometimes requires to become a hero of some romance on the condition that I consciously separate the acting from living creatures. Game, game, game. Long popped up from this age, but sometimes you want to play life, full of passions and experiences. For a man devoid of all teeth and half the memory, this game is akin to a bracing drink. Let it cure for boredom. What a difference! The main thing - to avoid discouragement, because discouragement is a terrible sin which are born from the disgusting ideas and thoughts. Happy, joyful, in love with a man passionate about kindness and cheerfulness. Dark type picks his own sores, as a masochist-Samoyed. And scratched his sores begin to fester the wounds of loved ones. A disease of the soul gives birth to conviction, conviction deepens disease. The gloom of that pit, the more is taken from it, the deeper it becomes. God forbid you get into it. It is like a swamp - you start out with a rough effort, tighten stronger. It's either to pull itself by the hair like Baron Munchausen, or discreetly call for help. Start yelling loudly, and himself more deeply seated, and the ushers will scare away screaming. Questions of faith is a fire. No time for philosophical reflection.

Now deep relationships not looking. Don't see any sense in this. Surface of reciprocity occur from the state of the soul. I often grim and unsociable, but sometimes I get fun and, at times, I'm happy so much that roam the streets with a blossoming face, just a crazy city. Shunned publicity, because publicity is always fraught with vagueness judgments. Who knows me a little bit, I heard about that more than anything I don't like the genre of serial vulgarity, where the devil is not the devil, but only a pathetic clown on the payroll from the master. And a passion - bubbles. I can not tolerate sentimentality. Dribbling painful episode I cauterized once and for all with one thought: "I do Not want to let your soul corroding a drink of undeveloped passions. The tears are different. I'm ready to kneel before you with tears of repentance, or the thrill of the meaninglessness of existence, but will never accept household tearfulness - sentimental relationship to other roles of another movie." In other words, gray crotch can not bear. Although living in the midst of it.

I must admit I have a weakness for redheaded women, I don't know why. This is my button that is easy to put I suddenly became docile and polite. Obstinacy goes somewhere into the ground like an electric shock, piercing my vertical from head to toe. Coursing through the spinal fluid. Illuminates every cell of your being. Probably something from paganism, dense, solid, encouraging enjoyment, in other words - the strength of the rhizomes, not knowing in the intellectual weaknesses and reflection. What the Apostle Paul wisely said: "for in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see in my members another law warring against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin which is in my members". So I become a prisoner of the law of pagan, pleasant, impregnated with life-giving energy of Eros. That is to say, zero.