Book: Norwegian wood. Page 11

- Tell me something - said Midori, hiding her face on my chest.
- What?
- What you want. Was pleasant to me.
- You're awful nice.
- Midori, she said. - Say my name.
- You're awful nice, Midori - recovered me.
- How terrible?
- So cute the mountains crumble and the sea shallow.

- Of all the people I've met, you're the most special.
And you of all people I ever met, a real person, he said.
(- You're the strangest person I've met so far.
- And you're the most serious person I have met, ' he said, and he paid the bill.)

My consciousness was uncalled sluggish and swollen, just the roots of shade-loving plants. So will not go, stiff I thought. Suddenly I remembered the words of Nagasawa: "do Not sympathize with yourself. Themselves sympathize with only primitive people."

Me too man, sometimes, scary. But how else? But I this axiom can not accept. I go until it goes using one hundred percent of my strength. Take what you want, do not want, do not take. This is called to live. Stuck somewhere - then again think. A society with unequal opportunities, on the other hand, a society where you can show your abilities.

Well, ideals, anything goes, no?
No, of course - he went on to say - in real life they are not needed. All you need is a sweep, that's all.

Whatever the truth, it is impossible to compensate for the loss of a loved one.
No truth,
No sincerity,
No power,
No kindness can't make up for it.
We have only to endure this grief and to learn something,
But this science is not useful, when will be the turn following the sudden grief.

And this is what I decided then and there: "She, on their own find someone who will be a year-round love me for all hundred percent". How old I was? About eleven or twelve.
- Hey, I said admiringly. And how are the results?
- Not so all simply, replied and Midori stared at the smoke. - Apparently waited so long that eventually lifted the bar too. The difficulty is that now I dream about the ideal.
About ideal love?
- What? Even I had thought. I need just selfishness. Perfect selfishness. For example, now I'll tell you what I want to eat a cake with strawberries. You have to leave everything and rush to buy it. Out of breath, bring me cake and I say I got sick, and throw it out the window. That's what I need right now.
Yeah it seems to love has no relation, - confusedly I said.
- Has. Only you don't know this, - replied Midori. - There's a time for girls is very important.
- Throw cake out the window?
Yes. Want my boyfriend said: "Understood. Midori, I understand. Himself had to guess that you rashochetsya cake with strawberries. I'm a bloody idiot and pathetic fool. So I'll go and find you something else. What do you want? Chocolate mousse? Or cheesecake?"
And what will happen?
- I will love such a person.
- Doesn't make any sense.
But for me, it is love. Nobody, however, could not understand it.

The death of a person leaves behind small amazing memories.

Sometimes it makes me unbearably sad, but overall life goes on as usual.

I'm writing to you. I'm far more handicapped people than you can imagine. I'm sick a lot stronger than you think. The roots of this disease is very deep. So if you can go further, go alone. Don't wait for me. Don't worry about me. Do what you want. Otherwise I will sweep you off your true path. Only that I never want - I don't want to ruin your life. I told you, from time to time visit me and never forget. I wish no more.